Can You Forgive and Forget?

The Biblical concept of mercy and forgiveness is more than just moving past the transgression. It includes putting the error behind you as if it never occurred. Is this realistic? A few thoughts concerning the act of forgiveness and why it is beneficial.

"I forgive you." We all have uttered those words as well as been on the hearing end of those words. It is quite a burden removed from you when a friend you have wronged makes you feel genuinely off the hook. But have they forgotten? That is also a question we should ask ourselves if we have extended mercy upon someone who has aggrieved us. Have we forgotten?

Why is this so important? Because for one this is what forgiveness truly is. Also at the root or the heart of forgiveness is love. One of loves many aspects is its ability to cover over a wrongdoing. So combining forgiveness with love is vital for the wound or hurt to actually heal completely. Imagine if you had a deep cut on your arm. How well would it heal if we kept picking at it or re-opening it?

It is important that we understand that the type of love we are talking about is what the Greek's called "agape". It is a love of principle. It is unconditional. We love our fellowman regardless of how they behave. Agape' love is not contingent on the action of the other person. It is not a love that is earned. An extreme example would be like this. Imagine you were driving along and you saw an elderly man trying to fix a flat tire. As you pull over to help, you realize this is a man who many years ago murdered a family member of yours. He is now out of jail after many years and he is stuck along side of the road. Agape' love would compel you to help this man regardless of what had happened before this day.

Now you can get a flavor if you meditate over this why true forgiveness is possible and beneficial. Carrying a bitter grudge or harboring a continued resentment will rob you have contentment and joy in life. It may be painful to let go but if you solemnly forgive someone for their error and aggression against you, you will only enhance your capacity for love and carry on life with no regrets. Yes forgiving and forgetting will make you a stronger person and give you reason to embrace tomorrow and let go of yesterdays inconveniences or discomfort. You will look ahead with confidence and ambition.

Too many people waste precious life moments looking to settle the score or to right a wrong. Well you will never even the score nor will you right a wrong. The damage is irreparable. All the provocation and justification you can muster up will not reverse time and thus the wrong done to you.

The problem is too often people conclude that if they do not avenge themselves or at least keep a resentment or rancor toward the guilty party, that they somehow trivialize or lesson the impact of the wrong. That is absurd however. That is a sheer rationalization and excuse to return evil for evil. The fact is one has nothing to do with the other. Your forgiveness toward someone who has wronged you is a reflection of you not them. So your vengeful spirit brings you to their level. In reality that reaction tends to give more credence to their actions. Our forgiving and forgetting will clearly show that the offender was in the wrong.

Finally another huge reason we should forgive and forget is because who of us has not wronged another? If you desire the love and relieving feeling of forgiveness than it is imperative that we extend mercy and compassion toward others.

In the end it goes without saying that this is very difficult to accomplish. So it is essential and consequential to develop agape' love and focus on the big picture so we can render true forgiveness toward others.