DEAR IZZIE,
I am seventeen years old. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 months. Before we started dating we were really great friends. I have a secret that I haven’t told him. I was born HIV+. My mother had a blood transfusing before the screening was put in place. He doesn’t know either of us are infected.
We recently started talking about sex and being intimate. I know I need to tell him but I’m not sure how/when to tell him. I’m really scared of being rejected.
Izzie, I love him. What should I do?
SIGNED, TAINTED LOVE IN THE USA
DEAR TAINTED,
Disclosure can be very hard, especially for someone so young. Fortunately there are some wonderful sites online that can give you advice. A great one is AIDSMeds.com, they have a guide to disclosure which includes the following tips;
- Tell him you have something important to tell him.
- Request that what you’re going to tell him be kept confidential.
- Keep what you say as simple and direct as possible.
- Tell him why you want him to know.
- Offer to answer any questions he may have.
As well, if you attend any support groups, you may offer to take him along. People are often scared of what they don’t know, remember that anger, denial and fear are totally normal emotions.
Good luck!
DEAR IZZIE,
I am a 19 year old gay male. I had unprotected sex with a one night stand a few months ago. It was my first time doing it bare back so I went to get tested for STD’s a couple weeks ago and my HIV test came back positive. I’ve heard through the grapevine that he knew he had it when he had sex with me. I am livid. What should I do?
SIGNED, BETRAYED
DEAR BETRAYED,
Knowingly passing HIV is a crime. File a police report immediately. He could be charged with a crime and serve time.
You don’t say whether you are seeing a licensed therapist. If not, please do. A therapist can help you work through any anger, denial and/or fear you may be feeling currently.
Good luck!
Dear Izzie is written by Isobel Grey and appears on weekdays on Quazen. Have a question? Write Dear Izzie on MySpace.
