I have developed a system for creating New Years' Resolutions that works for me. This was done out of desperation, and was preceded by countless previous January 1st attempts to get my life and habits under control.
The whole idea is to use reverse psychology on yourself. For example, if your annual resolution looks like the one below, you're struggling with the problems that undermined me for so many years.
- Lose weight
- Get in shape through regular exercise
- Budget, and stick to it
- Hunt down your soul-mate
- Volunteer, donate, and help others.
When you state the opposite of these , you get
- Eat whatever you like, and be realistic about what the outcome will be
- Don't move one muscle unless forced to do so. Think about the consequences of this inactivity.
- Go hog wild with your money. Predict the outcome.
- Decide not to capture your soul-mate this year. Daydream about how you plan to spend the upcoming years alone.
- Look out for #1 exclusively. See in your mind the results of total selfishness.
The most important part of each of these negative statements is that you must predict, visualize and dwell upon the outcome of each negative course of action.
Your imagination will work for you. Just remember to give yourself free reign to create realistic pictures of the bad outcomes. Work on creating the horrifying emotions that go along with your planned actions. Really get into the feelings of shame which will accompany each of your negative efforts. Review how people around you have reacted in the past to your gluttony, your laziness, and your spendthrift ways. Recall the rejection you have encountered when attempting to badger some unsuspecting person into becoming your perfect soul-mate. Build upon those painful experiences, and cringe and blush accordingly.
When I used this plan, last New Years', I had no idea it would work so effectively. Mind you, I was extremely motivated, and spent many spare moments fantasizing about myself on my worst behavior. I spared no detail as I saw myself turn into a 300 pound blob. (I'm five feet tall, so 300 pounds seemed like an appropriate weight.) That's the joy of this system of mine! You can personalize it exactly to suit your circumstances.
Then I saw myself, shivering in bed while the demolition crew removed the wall of my bedroom . Obviously this would be necessary to get my bulk to the hospital for life-saving heart and blood-pressure monitoring.
I imagined the reactions of friends and family as I ceased to be available for short term loans. I saw the hurt in their eyes as I refused to oblige them in any way. I found that if I could conjure these things up in my mind, I was barely able to act in negative ways as planned. But I did try.
I went and scouted out a bridge under which I could live when my crazy financial ways would see me evicted from my apartment. Believe me, that was a powerful strategy! Every time I drive under that bridge, I find myself reviewing recent purchases with a stern eye.
I'm not going to tell you that I've found the love of my life in 2007. But my relationships have gone better since I've stopped introducing the topic of marriage on the first date. I don't lock my companions into my apartment with a key-operated deadbolt either. That tactic's a real relationship breaker.
So, now you have the basics of my program. Use it with my compliments. I hope you find it as helpful as I have. Just remember to make note of some emergency phone numbers before you start. You'll need all the take-out numbers for meals, and the ambulance number, for the trip mentioned earlier.
I even have a guarantee. Try this for six months, adhering exactly to the rules, and see if you find a difference in your attitudes and behavior. If not, I'll send you a phone number for booking yourself onto an upcoming episode of Jerry Springer:- Self Destructive People who Need Professional Help.
Good Luck! Happy New Year!
