Before we start I must make one thing plain. Don't say sorry unless you mean it. Some people find it very easy to say sorry and will apologise if you stand on their foot. This article is not for them.
If you are among those who cannot remember the last time the word "sorry" (in the sense that "I was wrong") came from your lips, then I hope the following tips help you to join the rest of us who find it hard, but manage sometimes, to apologise to the person we have hurt.
- Saying sorry is all about swallowing our pride. Pride is in fact indigestible. It sticks in the throat, it is not a natural thing to swallow our pride.
You can either:
- Force yourself to swallow it whole. This is a painful process, it is going to choke you and even if you get it down it will give you indigestion for a long time afterwards.
- Reject the whole process and spit it out. No further action is required. Pride remains intact. The situation unchanged or worsening.
- Chew it into little pieces. This helps to digest it. Consider the cost if you don't swallow your pride. The result if you do. Ask yourself what you want to achieve if you go through with this.
- Having decided to go ahead, keep it short and sweet. The less said the less risk of further disagreement. If you are trying to make amends with a female, accompany the words "I"m sorry' with gestures of affection if this is appropriate. If it's a male, follow up with words showing that you respect his point of view.
- If, in spite of the above, you just cannot bring yourself to say the "s" word, then say it with flowers or send a suitable card with the words written for you. This will work well with a girl. If a mate is involved then buy him a drink - "let"s forget it' might work on a man- to- man basis.
- Remember that it's not just your pride that is involved here but theirs as well. So make it easy for them. Once the olive branch is accepted move on to safe topics to re-establish the relationship.
- Later, when the dust has settled, analyse the incident that caused the problem. This is important in a long term relationship where a similar situation might occur again. Do an internal check on your own reactions. In the long term preventing a bad reaction is better than curing the hurt it caused afterwards.
