Punishment is defined as the application of an aversive stimulus. For example, if you commit a crime you will be punished by imprisonment. The imprisonment is the aversive stimulus. Many studies show that punishment does not help to modify behavior. However, punishment is used in the false belief that it works. It is not a carefully thought out strategy. If you want to have successful relationship of successful children you will more likely succeed if you used positive reinforces as opposed to punishment. Positive reinforces are rewards for acceptable behaviors.
Clarification is an acceptable tool to use when you want a situation to be clarified. This helps both parties and there is nothing wrong with seeking clarification because it clears the air and lets both parties know where they stand. “Do you really want me to participate in the seminar on behalf of this University?” is an example of a statement which seeks clarification. Sounding is almost similar but here one party is trying to assess what the other person may say. For example, “How would you feel if I attended the seminar on behalf of the University?”
Reflection is another term psychiatric term which has gained popularity in everyday communication. Reflection is a very powerful communication tool. It can be used to get out of sticky situations. For example, you are in a car dealership, you have been cornered into signing a deal which you are not absolutely sure about. Your best response would be to look the sales person straight in the eye and say, “I really want time to reflect upon this deal”. The word reflection here means “to think about something”.
Deliberate ignoring is an effective communication tool particularly with children. In the behavioral sciences deliberate ignoring is advocated when you are aiming to extinguish a behavior. Studies show that it is an effective tool. This tool can be used when dealing with adults too. However, adults who have studied assertive behavior will have found ways to deal with deliberate ignoring.
Last but not least for communication to be effective and fair the power distribution must be equal between the two or more parties. There is hardly any effective or honest communication between a captive and a hostage taker. In these situations “Stockholm syndrome” would have developed i.e. the hostages will develop sympathies toward the captors’ goals. The unequal distribution of power exists in society in many situations e.g. Nurses over Patients, Doctors over Nurses, and Managers over line staff.
I trust these terms will make you think whenever you are communicating in the home or work environment.
Another proven strategy, to draw attention is to exaggerate it or to minimise it. For eg. you could say that the care was wide as the road. This is a subjective and therfore what you have is not a lie as it your perception of the size of the car.
Many people use exaggeration to draw attention to their area of interest.