When I was younger, and our children were very young. I had other ways of distracting myself when that old panic attack began to approach. I would try to make myself vomit. I know how it sounds, but I had to do anything to, again, distract my brain from where it was heading.
Another area that I have learned to change is any dependency factor. There simply can be none. I cannot learn to depend on my husband, friends or my children. Why? If I do, and suddenly I go into an attack, what if my husband is on his way to work. He drives two hours in each direction. What would I do? Call him in a shear panic and force him to speedy home, endangering his life, just to help me? I have had to erect what I call, the dependency wall. I cannot dream of having to depend on anyone because that would probably disrupt my entire life.
I have learned through many other ways, how to deal with them on my own. Without anyone there. If I can find the inner strength to deal with it alone, the humiliation factor will certainly be spared. If you suffer an attack around those who have no idea what it feels like, it can be more stressful than the actual attack. I hate hospitals, I hate having to rely on any beta blockers, and I want control of my life back.
Yes, it takes much work, determination and continual work. It is on my mind twenty four hours and day, seven days a week. Your always on guard because you just don’t know when the next one will strike. If you are blessed enough to find a doctor who has endured them, then you have found a priceless treasure in that doctor. For he will be able to understand what you are enduring. And trust me, it makes all the difference in the world.
Do you know I have prayed so very hard for years that God would take them away forever. I have prayed, on many occasions, that God would do something else to me instead of having panic attacks. I have asked God to let me loose a limb or my arm. Let me loose my hearing, or sight in one eye. I would be willing to do any of those things, if it would ensure that I would never, ever suffer from another panic attack as long as I shall live. Yes, it may be dramatic, but it’s a choice that I would gladly make.
I often wonder if we humans endured such long ago, in days past. And if so, how did the people of that time get through them. They must have felt they were dying, or perhaps they thought those kind of folks were possessed. I am not afraid of death, but I am afraid of panic attacks. Isn’t that amazing!
I have had friends who have endured them as well. And we often compare notes when we are able. I hope that I can help just one person to gain control over these horrible attacks. They can ruin your job, your family and your happiness.
The title speaks for itself, panic attack. The fear and great panic that I endure when suffering an attack, is unmatched by anything else I have gone through. So if you suffer from anxiety attacks, please do not loose hope or faith. Try to do things that will give you back the control which is stripped while we endure them. Remember, once you begin to have them, you are capable of suffering from them for your entire life. Stress can do so many things to our bodies and our minds.
I count the days when I don’t have any feeling of one approaching. And I am filled with great joy on such days. I pray all your days will be free of any attacks as well. So set many goals for yourself, do as many things as you can fit into the day. And tell death he has no sting when it comes to panic attacks!
