"Happiness ain't a thing in itself--it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant."
- Captain Stormfield's Visit to Heaven (Mark Twain)
Trust Mark Twain to give such a cynical definition, while at the same time hitting upon the true nature of humanity. Many people consider happiness something similar to Utopia (The ideal place to live). It is, according to them, naïve to believe that we can ever be happy on this earth, considering the constant wars, famines, natural disasters and pestilence to which we are subjected. And that's without including politicians!
Some of you have had the luck to meet that special person who lives with a permanent sincere smile on her face. She is not faking it; people around her feel the peace and contentment that emanate from her. How can she always be happy? Surely, she has had her share of accidents, illnesses, the loss of loved ones, misbehaving children, financial difficulties, aggravations and betrayals. And yet, she sails onward with optimism, courage and good humor.
In one of his stories, Mark Twain mentions Aunt Rachel, a black slave who was happy all the time. He apparently based the person on a real member of his entourage when young. Survivors of Nazi extermination camps also relate the case of prisoners who were able to maintain their inner peace and contentment while faced with the horrors of their environment. They no longer FEARED their enemies, whether physical or psychological.
The key to that inner tranquility is not resignation, giving up, or fatalism; it is transcending the negative events that surround you in a way that they no longer seem fearful or even important. We are not placed in a life or death situation, usually, and yet we fret and worry about insignificant squabbles, about what the boss is thinking, about how to pay the bills, about the feelings others have for us, about the neighbors' opinion, about how we look and whether it is going to rain tomorrow.
It does sound a little ridiculous, doesn't it? Maybe Mark Twain is right; happiness starts when the pain stops. But I believe there is much more to the concept and I would like to share a little experiment I have started several months ago. Nothing earth shattering; no great discovery! Just something that all of us should do more often.
If you are stressed; if you are worrying about your future or even your present, your relationships, your children, your family and most of all, yourself, try this: Sit outside in the most comfortable lounge chair you can find, but do not lie down as you will fall asleep.
Look at the sky, preferably in the evening, just before sunset. Now observe the clouds, the birds flying by, the leaves fluttering in the wind. Feel nature on your body (dress scantily to enjoy it more), smell the aroma of the grass, of the flowers, or simply what the breeze brings to you (hopefully nothing gross from your neighbor's yard).
Do not try to control your thoughts; let in whatever wants to come in and soon, after five minutes, you will see your concerns in a different light, a more positive light. Do this also when you are faced with a big decision. This is not meditation, though it certainly falls in the same category. The good thing is that anybody can do this without paying big bucks for self-help lessons.
