I spent five years of my career as a police officer in a small municipality that spans only ten miles of geographical area, but possesses over two hundred and fifty bars. Additionally, this town is seasonal in nature, and its population grows to over three hundred thousand during the summer months. So, you may understand why I consider myself somewhat of an expert on barroom brawls. Following the strategies presented below should help you in protecting yourself, should you ever end up in one of these incidents. This advice is only to be used for defensive purposes.
Avoid Possible Troublemakers
Most of the time, it is pretty easy to identify the characters that have the potential of starting trouble. Men in particular seem to develop a "flirt or fight" mentality when inebriated (feel free to replace "flirt" with an alternative "f" word-I'm just attempting to keep this family friendly). The more drunk they get, the greater their desire to fulfill either of these goals. Simply distance yourself early to avoid any possible confrontation; their targets are often random.
Size up the Situation
Sometimes preventive measures are ineffective, so you find yourself being challenged by an intoxicated person. The very first thing to do is evaluate the totality of the situation. Is the challenger actually addressing you? Why? Is he alone or with a group of friends? Where are your avenues of escape? Is he in possession of anything that could be used as a weapon (a bottle of beer, a pocketknife on his belt, access to silverware on the bar, etc.)? Your decision to act needs to be based on as much information as possible.
Diffuse the Situation
If you are reading this article to learn how to pound someone into the ground, you are wasting your time. You will fare much better in these types of situations if you learn to talk your way to a safe resolution. If you determined in the previous step that the troublemaker believes you wronged him in some way, there is an easy fix: apologize for your actions (it doesn't matter if you really did anything). This will likely stun the aggressor, as he expects you to come back in force. He will believe that he "won" the confrontation. That's fine; let him believe whatever he wants. He's a drunk and you're safe. Walk away and enjoy the rest of your evening.
What Did You Say?
Of course, walking away doesn't always work. If that is the case, you need to adjust your strategy. If the aggressor continues to escalate the situation, by screaming, your best option is to do the opposite. Actually lower your voice when responding. I'm not suggesting that you act meek. You should speak with authority and confidence, just at a lower decibel. The drunk will be forced to lower his own voice just to hear what you have to say. Without even knowing it, he will start deescalating on his own. You will control the situation by manipulating your opponent with your voice. One word of caution...the inebriated person will likely move closer to you. You need to be prepared in case he attacks. While this action is less likely than before, the proximity means that you need to be quicker to react.
So Much for Diplomacy
Sometimes, a physical altercation is unavoidable. Luckily, drunks tend to be fairly predictable in fights. I would estimate that over ninety percent of the time, they throw the "haymaker." This is a very slow and telegraphed strike. It resembles a hook with a very long windup. Knowing what to look for helps you react more quickly in self defense.
Act Against Intuition
Now that you see the punch coming, what do you think you should do? Avoid it, right? No. Your best action is to slide your entire body towards your attacker. Given the slow nature of this specific punch, you should be able to make this move before impact. Tuck your chin down against your chest. Put both of your hands on the same shoulder as his attacking arm. Make sure that you move close enough that your elbows bend ninety degrees and come in contact with your attacker. This position serves two purposes: it allows your outside arm to deflect the striking arm (or at least absorb some of the impact) and your inside arm can either attack or control (which will be addressed in the next point). The blow should either miss (behind your head) or lose enough momentum to cause minimal damage.
Counter
From this position, you have a number of options. Just remember that you want to end the confrontation as quickly as possible. Your inside elbow is available to strike or push. A quick compact movement, used to strike your attacker's chest or nose, should stun him long enough to separate and reevaluate. Also remember that you have feet to use for defense. A shin drag is a very effective technique. Lift your inside foot about a foot off the ground. Strike the opponent with your instep, about halfway up his shin, and drag your foot down to the top of his foot.
Control
Additionally, either hand can be used to grab and control. The inside hand can hook behind the neck and pull the head down. The outside hand can slide down the attacker's arm to pull down and towards you, effectively pulling him off balance. Either of these actions provides a tactical advantage, which you can use to either attack or retreat.
Reevaluate
If your strike was effective and it bought you time, make your escape. You don't want to fight and you don't want to injure this person. The same goes for controlling the subject. If you pull them off-balance and they fall, you now have a window to leave. However, if the attacker continues to be aggressive, you may need to follow-up. If you have pulled their head down, you can follow up with a knee to the chest. DO NOT strike his head! This type of blow could potentially be lethal. You are protecting yourself, not trying to kill this individual. If you pulled him by the attacking arm, try to step across with your inside foot to trip the attacker. The idea is to buy time to escape.
When Things Go Wrong
Hopefully, you will be able to escape without further incident. The reality is that nothing ever goes perfectly. So, here are a few pointers. First, if you end up on the ground, never turn onto your stomach. You always want to face your opponent. Second, if his friends participate in the fight, never allow them to flank your position. When grabbing the attacker, make sure to move him in between you and his friends. Finally, don't be embarrassed to run like hell! Drunks are terrible sprinters, and you should lose them fairly quickly.
Report the incident. Be sure to contact the proper authorities. The attacker may end up harassing another person. Additionally, this action assures that your side of the story is documented, in case the incident results in future litigation.
