If you've ever read a self help book or article, visited a self-help class, been to a therapist or just talked with a good friend about a problem, you've probably heard the topic of goals get mentioned quite a bit. However, do you often feel like you can never reach your goals or that you are always failing at goals in which you try to accomplish? There could be a solid reason for this (and it's not because you're a loser).
One reason many people have problems achieving their goals is that they do not fully understand the difference between a goal and a desire. A goal is something that you and you alone can accomplish. It doesn't matter what anyone else does, thinks, says or feels- only your own thoughts, feelings and actions. A goal is something manageable and attainable.
A desire is something you wish to have but that you may not have the power to influence yourself- at least not directly. If you find yourself often unable to reach the goals you have set for yourself, it could be that your goals are truly desires. A desire is something you may wish to have in your life but that you do not have complete control over. For example, you may desire to see your children grow up to become responsible adults. There are things you can do as a parent to help make this happen but ultimately it is up to your child to make the choices to see this happen.
Your goal cannot be for your child to be a responsible adult. Your goal, however, can be to teach your child to the best of your ability as a parent. Your goals can be to be the best parent you know how to be but your desire will be to see your child succeed as a result of that.
A goal is something you have complete control over and something that you want to see happen in your life and that you have the ability to affect. For example, your goal may be to be a good wife, but wanting to have a great marriage is a desire because your spouse will have an influence on this as well. So now that you have a better understanding of the difference between goals and desires, you can re-evaluate your present goals and how they pertain to your life.
True goals can also fall into different categories such as physical, emotional, social, financial, intellectual, family, career, etc. Look at your present goals and first determine whether or not they are true goals or actually desires. Then begin separating your goals into different categories. Now you can split them into short term, medium term and long term goals. Finally, you can begin working on the plan to successfully accomplish these goals. Good luck!
