Think Positive, be Positive

by Ruth B, Mar 12, 2008

An A to Z guide to feeling good about yourself. How to boost your confidence, raise your self esteem, feel less inhibited and get on with your life.

Appearance

You do not need to wear expensive designer clothes, just make sure that what you wear looks good on you and be sure you look good wearing it. People remember how you look and if you know you look good, you will feel good.

Belief

Believe in yourself. Think of the things you do well and what you have achieved so far in life. If you think you have achieved nothing, think again. Getting through any of life's difficulties in an achievement. Think about your knowledge and your abilities. Learn from your mistakes and failures and resolve to do better.

Caring

Show that you care. When someone tells you their troubles, be sympathetic and don't turn away. Do place a comforting hand on their shoulder, or give them a hug, if appropriate.

Dreams

With determination and patience your dreams can come true. Never waste time dreaming of things that cannot be. Only when you know which direction you want your life to take can you start to follow your dream.

Experience

Good experiences should not be forgotten. Learn from a bad experience and resolve never to let it happen again. Feel good that you have come through the bad times. If you cannot do as you like, try to like what you do. If things seem intolerable at work, try to do something you really enjoy after work.

Fitness

It is important to keep your body in good shape, but this does not mean constantly dieting to lose weight or following rigid exercise routines. Eat sensibly, drink moderately, stay active. Don't be too restrictive, but try to give up something if you find it too compulsive. You will feel great when you find you no longer have that craving.

Grievance

If you have a grievance do not rant and rage or hurl abuse. State calmly why you feel you have been wrongly treated. People will respect you more and will take notice.

Happiness

Few people can claim to be truly happy all the time, but you should treasure your moments of happiness. The best moments often happen when you least expect them.

Image

You may lack confidence but if you can present a positive image of yourself, other people will have confidence in you. If you hold your head high, look people in the eye, speak in a clear voice, you will appear to be confident and you will feel more confident too.

Jokes

Some people can cover up their shyness with levity. If you can be witty and spontaneous that is a good way to make people feel relaxed around you and much more effective than repeating jokes.

Knowledge

Whatever knowledge you have will always be an asset, whether connected to sport, music or to your occupation. If you can share your knowledge with others they will value your expertise.

Love

Do not expect to find love in a nightclub or at a social event where you might just appear desperate if you are trying too hard to find someone to love. If your leisure time activities are based on something that really interests you, you have more chance of meeting people who find you interesting.

Moods

Everyone has moods and some days we all feel low or are irritable. You should never let your mood affect the way you treat others and if you think someone is behaving unreasonably, consider that they may just be in a bad move before you retaliate.

"NO"

If you feel pressurized, do not falter and give in, keep repeating the word "no" firmly and positively. If someone asks for your help and you have a good reason for not wanting to comply, don't say "yes".Try being firm when you say "Sorry, I can't help", and if challenged "I'm sorry but my answer is no." You do not have to explain why.

Optimism

If you are a natural pessimist, do try to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. Don't only think of the worst thing that can happen. It may not happen that way and you should never give up hoping for something better.

Possibilities

Consider the possibilities in any situation. Think of what you would most like to happen and aim to make it happen.

Questions

Always ask questions. When you first meet someone, ask them questions and they will feel flattered and more at ease with you. In a job interview when asked if you have any questions, have an intelligent one prepared so you don't just mumble or say nothing. In any situation you will gain from asking questions and you will find out things you would otherwise not have known.

Responsibility, Reliability, Respect, Reputation

Take your responsibilities seriously. Prove you are a reliable person. Try to be punctual when you arrange to meet someone and always fulfill your promises. You will earn respect and get yourself a good reputation.

Shyness

Shyness is invisible, unless you give yourself away by mumbling and looking uncomfortable. Remember that other people feel shy too. Take an interest in what others are saying, smile, joke, ask questions, and they may never know that you are shy.

Trouble

Do not try to get out of difficulties by lying or hiding the evidence. Admit your mistake and apologize. You will earn admiration instead of recrimination.

Undress

Be proud of your own body, there will always be someone who will admire or envy your figure. Nobody is perfect and everyone has their own idea of what is ideal.

Voice

Always try to speak clearly. There is no need to shout when you want to make a point, neither should you speak so low you cannot be heard by someone with less than perfect hearing.

Worry

If you are worried about someone you love that shows you care but you should avoid worrying about situations over which you have no control. Instead try to think of the best course of action for you to take if or when the worst outcome does happen.

X-Ray Eyes

Of course nobody has x-ray vision so nobody can see your fear, shyness or feelings of inadequacy. Show people what you want them to see and they may think you are a capable and confident person, even if you are not.