Angry outbursts during parenthood happen, but if it is a regular event in your house then it could have damage to your children. Before damage occurs or any more damage you need to learn to keep your cool. Irritability in bipolar parenting is very common and learning how to keep your cool is an important step. Even if you are not bipolar, the following steps will help.
Steer away from stress on the danger days. These are the days were you tell every “it was one of those days.” The days were you have had problems at work, a fight with your partner, or you children are overtired, whiney, or running at lightening speed. You don't want to make the situation worse by trying to take all your children shopping or another stressful activity. Find more relaxing activities to participate in.
Pick your battles with you child carefully. Instead of arguing and enforcing everything little wrong move, focus on the important matters and know as they grow older you can add to those important matters. This might dramatically decrease the number of arguments as well as potential explosions you might face.
Take a parental time out by stepping away from your child and regaining your control again before you get to angry to deal with the situation appropriately. Remember not to leave your child, if they are very young, where they could get hurt or need supervision. Also, mind the words you choose to use. Remember to express it was their behavior and not them you made you angry. They need to know they are not bad people.
Find a different way to express your anger like screaming into a pillow, jogging in place, or take a walk around the room. At this point your child will be giving you a funny look, but an opportunity to teach too by telling them you are going to walk around the room to get rid of your anger. You don't want to pick a way to release your anger that is going to scare them such as slamming doors, braking dishes, or punching walls.
Another option is to carry a notebook with you and write down your feeling when you get angry. Don't be polite about it but write down all your feelings, including what you don't want to repeat.
Try settling down to music. Different kinds of music create different moods, so pick something soothing and relaxing to ease your increasing anger. Picking music that would just make your anger worse defeats the purpose. Or keep a photo close of a good moment to be able to keep your perspective.
Take some time for yourself to keep your stress level down or call someone who you can talk to about what you are feeling to help you to calm down. If you lack quality time for yourself then your anger might be not consciously directed towards your children, but you might be expressing your dislike for not having time for yourself.
Last, track your blowups no matter who they are directed to. Note what the trigger was, who did what, and how it was resolved. This might point you towards a pattern and your specific triggers giving you the ability to prevent a blowup before you are about to boil over.
Whether you go with music, movement, parental timeout, or just some good quality time for yourself, anything is better then blowing up at your children all the time. Anger is a good motivating emotion when it is used properly. These will help you not to use anger improper.
