Did you know that someone is sexually assaulted, somewhere in America , every two and a half minutes? I wish I could tell you that is an exaggerated figure, but it isn't. In the time it takes you to read this article about a dozen people in America will have been sexually assaulted. Chances are they will be mostly women. After all, according to the National Research Council an estimated one in six women in America are the victims of sexual assault at some point in their lives, as opposed to one in thirty-three men (Statistics are from RAINN website at http://www.rainn.org/statistics/index.html).
Sexual violence is obviously a big problem, not only in American, but internationally as well. So, what can you do? Do you know how to safeguard yourself, your family, or your children from this threat? Would you know where to go, how to seek help? Many people do not, and many more are frightened into silence.
There are many tips for safeguarding yourself against the threat of sexual violence. Some are common sense, but others are things you need to integrate into your day-to-day living. For example, everyone warns young men and women not to leave drinks unattended at large social functions, but what about food? Food can also be drugged, and should not be left unattended after being served. Another simple step, but one that should be followed on a daily basis is awareness: always be aware of your surroundings. Know where your exits are, and know what obstacles may be between you and your exit. Pay attention to anything that you could put between yourself and an assailant. Never, ever allow yourself to be cornered or isolated by someone you do not know, and/or do not trust entirely. Decide what level of intimacy you are ready for in any relationship, and let your decision be known. Stand your ground. Eye contact is also important. If a stranger seems to be following you, don't glance timidly over your shoulder. If you look like a victim, you will probably become a target. Instead, stop and turn around. Look the person in the face, and remember their appearance. This way you make it clear you are not afraid, you are the kind of strong independent person who will fight back. The people committing these crimes are looking for the weak, those who will be easy to victimize. Most of them will not approach someone they think will fight back. Make yourself appear strong, and you stop looking like a victim.
Talk to your loved ones about sexual violence. It may seem like a hard topic to break into, and an awkward topic to discuss, but the more prepared you are for the possibilities, the less likely they are to happen. Note the topic when it is in the news, a television show, or a movie. Bring up the tips, as above, on how to avoid dangerous situations. Remind your family that you are there for them, no matter what happens, and you want them to be able to you about anything they need to talk about.
However, this can be exceptionally difficult with very young children. It is for this reason that children need to be taught early. They need to learn the names of all the parts of their body, and they need to learn what parts are “against the rules” for adults to touch. Very young children need to know that their bodies are their own territory, and they don't have to let people do things that make them feel uncomfortable. Make sure to approach these topics gently, and continuously remind children that they can always come to you with problems. Tell them you are there to protect them, and if someone is making them feel bad in some way, they should tell you right away, so you can help them. When your children ask questions about sex, answer them honestly. Let them know that sex is a natural part of life, but it should always be between two adults who both want to do it. Whether you bring up marriage and morality in these discussions is up to you, but make sure your children know no one should ever do anything to them without their permission, and sexual contact between adults and children is always wrong. Make sure they know that they have a right to their own bodies, and that gives them a right to say no or walk away from any situation they think is wrong. And always, continue to reinforce that you will always be there for them, and they can and should come to you with any questions, problems, fears, or reports of something wrong.
If you or someone you know has already been the victim of sexual violence, seek help. There are numerous resources for victims, including RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) and The Family Violence Prevention Fund, both of which have outstanding websites full of statistics, tips, and resources for victims. Check out your local resources as well; many communities have local hotlines and shelters, as well as prevention programs. And never be afraid to speak up. Silence only allows the perpetrator to go free, and may endanger more people. Remember, sexual violence is a crime, and the only one at fault is the person committing that crime.
Everyone in America should be aware of the threat of sexual violence. Discuss the possibility and the prevention with your loved ones when you have the chance and help protect them and others from these awful experiences. Anyone can be a victim, but anyone can step up and do everything they can to help prevent these crimes as well.
