In the late 1970's life was simpler. I would walk home from school everyday and if I made it home without getting beaten-up, it was a good day. When I got home, I would usually switch on the television to watch Doctor Who. To me it appeared that even in outer space, just like here on earth, bullying existed.
The Doctor battled some formidable opponents, but worst of all, were the Cybermen. They were a silver-suited clan of automatons who bullied and callously disposed of anyone who crossed their path. The Cybermen of today are a lot closer than we think. They are sophisticated covert operators that dwell in the nebulous no-mans-land inside the electronic workings of mobile phones and computers, a place called Cyberspace.
Many of us well-meaning Generation X parents give our teenagers mobile phones for safety reasons and computers for study and homework purposes. The present generation is way more technologically advanced. They are Internet savvy, own mobile phones, e-mail and IM (Instant Message), each other and can tap out an SMS faster than a World War II Telegrapher calling for backup during an enemy attack.
Unfortunately, as with all new technology comes danger. Threatening, nasty and even downright rude messages can be sent straight to your teenager's phone, or computer, including pictures or small movies. As children, our generation was bullied quite simply, most of the time it happened at school or just after. At least at night, you were safe. Nowadays technology allows bullies to infiltrate home computers and mobile handsets at all hours. The main methods that cyberbullies use are IM's (Instant Messages), nasty Blogs (Web Logs-a kind of on-line diary visible to all) and via mobile phone SMS's (Short Message Service).
Increased awareness of so-called Stranger Danger has forced many parents to drive or bus their children to and from school. So bullying has moved underground. Modern bullies are not boys waiting to beat you up on the way home from school anymore. In fact, it may surprise you to note that this growing trend reaches a peak in girls at the age of around thirteen, yes in girls! According to a recent Time magazine article, one out of three girls are victims or the perpetrators of Cyberbullying, as opposed to only one out of ten boys. It is the one form of abuse that has girls as the leading antagonists.
Because Cyberbullying is electronic, it can come from next-door, from the next classroom at school, maybe even from the other side of the world. If your child is a victim, get ready for some difficult times ahead. Because, so far, it is not recognized as a crime. So the police are powerless to do anything, “It's just as easy to change your number, or your e-mail address,” they say. Again it is the victim who must bear the cost and inconvenience of ridding themselves of a cyber menace.
Many schools are incapable of dealing with Cyberbullying, even if the originating computer and user is at the school! Many ignore the problem by saying, “It's a matter external to the school, we can't do anything about it.”
But just how can you protect your children from Cyberbullies? Here are a few strategies that may help.
Firstly, just think, is there a definite need for my child to own a mobile phone? This will reduce the likelihood of your child becoming a victim, but unfortunately then disadvantages your child and negates the whole mobile phone for safety, idea.
If you decide that your child has a need for a phone, learn how to use it yourself. Read the manual. Just about all mobiles can be blocked from receiving and making calls apart from those that we as parents allow. Make use of this feature.
Ensure that you make it perfectly clear who is allowed to have your child's phone number. Their telephone number should be like a PIN number, kept to themselves and given out only to selected friends.
For protection from computer bullies, make use of monitoring and virus protection software on your child's computer. Control the use of the computer and monitor what messages they receive. Just like the telephone number, your child's email address should be restricted to select friends-if possible.
Advising your child that you will monitor incoming and outgoing emails may be enough to dissuade troublesome individuals from sending unwanted or abusive emails to your child's email address. If they persist, you can at least print them out and save the evidence. At least you will have some concrete proof should you need to take it further, no doubt, in the future, this will be classified as real bullying and treated as such.
