I wouldn’t say that I couldn’t speak English at one time in my life, or not as well as others, but I would say the Mexicans say they have the same problems learning the customs and language, because there are barriers, in their country and here. So, I would say, and the people have said, there is always a two sided problem, which prevents people from speaking coherently, in a legal sense, no matter which country is their permanent residence. I spoke to my sisters live- in -boyfriend who has told me not to worry.
Sometimes, a program to overcome depression is not only to hear what other people are telling other people, but to go in the direction people are taking you, even if in the past they robbed a store. I found the other Anglo workers at the Labor job, and they told me they knew the crack whore thing and were playing with me for years in town, while my son was living away from me. I realized then that they sent me to Mexico. I do want to mention Mexico. I was one hundred miles in Mexico, away in some house, and I did see a military helicopter. I can remember telling the woman to call the United States, because I have family in the States. Later, I remember mom’s family in Panama telling me to stop saying I have family.
I became angry, and I did see one ugly white guy with a big jaw like David Lee Roth, but with more gaps between the cracks in his teeth, while working and my son was away from me. I am glad that he got married. Upon hearing this from this ugly white dude bragging about making me a crack ho and the workers sending me into Mexico, a big black with chic wearing denims with seams clearly visible bursted around the worker, and looked a the look-a-like David with her huge butt blocking the reflection of the labor work windows and the water cooler. He turned to me, and I became sick again. I remember twenty years ago being in Handsville complaining of constipation; however, I do not think this gal and guy were making fun of me for being what a black made me in Florida, or a white gal. I think I got sick of yelling, and angered this Mexican man, who was sick of seeing me reappear in Mexico. I went to this woman’s house and irritated her, because I wanted my own casa.
However, I didn’t mind going into Mexico. I guess I was upset because I never really felt the air around me caress me, like the hazy darkening air of Mexico, lazily telling me that I was a desperado, and I needed them.
The clobber of a pail, or a bunch of boards, and free soap. However, it was not free. I do remember being in Mexico once before, since the war. I guess I got a job at a T Shirt factory, then a bunch of Mexicans came over and asked me to pay them rent for the bunch of boards. Perhaps, the Mexicans were thinking I was a low life woman. If I imagined living in Mexico, I would be living with someone east of Mexico on some rough land like Eagle Pass, sitting on the front porch complaining with a Mexican man. Likewise, I suppose this is all that I have been doing in America, besides going to jail. I was working and people pulled out knives at me at this pharmaceutical giant company, where I had a boss who loved to see the blacks and whites pick on Mexicans, or Hispanics they were calling drug addicts and stabbing me to pay court fines. After the first time I was stabbed in jail, mom became angry about that incident.
I was watching Judge Judy. She was complaining about a woman had gone to court to sue her deadbeat boyfriend for money to pay the babysitter. I watched and got it. However, at the same time, this one white fat girl had three white kids, and she doesn’t know who the daddy is. She is our new supervisor at Labor Works. I guess if I sat in Eagle Pass, and there was only one T.V. and some Mexican man with me, and we only complained, I was doing okay. I bet the teachers told my employers that I couldn’t work at Taco Bell. I guess they I could not, because the boss cited me for spreading salmonella at Swell. 17
I want to talk about plywood boards again and the corner store. I got a job at this labor union job, where the Mexicans called me a scab, and the blacks called me dumb.
