Man has searched for the Fountain of Youth since ancient times, in
the hope that he may live forever. So many people fear death, fear
growing older, as a person with a severe phobia. There is no
Fountain of Youth. There is only the Circle of Life.
Our existence moves in concentric circles, sometimes very
quickly, sometimes more slowly and more gracefully. We do not
exist, and then we are created by the union of a man and a woman,
who, we hope, care for each other. We have seasons of our lives,
just as the earth has seasons. From our birth to our adulthood is
the Spring of our lives, and our new adulthood to our middle age
is the Summer of our lives. Our middle age to our elder years is
our Autumn, when we turn gray, our blood does not run as hot as
it once did, and we move more slowly, just as the Earth's Autumn.
Our Elder years until our death is our Winter, when we slowly
wane and finally, we sleep eternally, no worries, nor fear, nor
pain; none of the things we did or did not do in life can be
changed. Eventually, they will cease to matter to anyone at all.
Facing mortality can be frightening for many people. Some will
realize that they are mortal when children grow up and finally
leave home. Some will realize their mortality when they have a
close call in some accident or other. Some never realize their own
mortality until it is too late for them to reverse the damage done
by their own hand or the hand of another. Some people realize
their mortality through chronic illness.
Chronic illness, whether it is treated or not, is known to shorten a
person's life span. Debilitating pain, side effects of medications,
depression, and the effects of the chronic illness itself all are
contributing factors to the premature death of a chronically ill
person.
Sometimes, a patient may go for years on end treating
only symptoms of illnesses, with no definite diagnosis. These are
the patients most at risk of premature death, because they show
negative results of every medical test that is run, yet their medical
team knows something is wrong. When every possible test has
been performed, the patient's healthcare team often tends to give
up on finding a diagnosis. A “wait and see” approach is taken. The
doctor or doctors may suspect one disease or more, yet without
definitive proof, they are hard-pressed to convince HMO's and
other health insurances to cover drugs that are expensive, and
which may not work to treat the underlying illness. The patient
then continues to suffer, only treating symptoms as they arise,
knowing that nothing definite will be discovered until after they
are dead, and realizing that they will be dead before the general
expected life span of their culture.
This is another area where patients fall through the cracks of
depression screening. The patient grieves for themselves, and for
the loss of the life they once knew. They grieve for the family and
friends they know they will leave behind. They may become
withdrawn and irritable, and seem as if they believe the world is
out to get them. Often, they feel that it is their own body that is the
traitor who is out to get them, as they feel one system after
another turn against them, destroying more and more of the person
they once were, until they no longer recognize themselves. The
non recognition of the patient's self is not always a cognitive
problem, such as dementia, but the changes wrought on their
lives, on their psyche, have changed them until they may hate the
person they have been forced to become by their illness.
It is difficult for these chronically ill and undiagnosed patients to
recognize depression or grief in themselves, as they struggle with
the day to day tasks of life. They may be parents of young
children who need them so desperately, as young children do.
They may be caring for aging relatives who are themselves
chronically ill. Patients feel anxiety and worry as they try to
explain to their children and their families the things they do not
understand themselves. These are extra stressors which contribute
to the stress of being ill. The holding in of fear and anxiety from
loved ones for fear of frightening them or causing them undue
stress and worry is exhausting.
It is impossible for any human to know when they will die, but it
happens to all living things eventually. It is both an unknown and
a natural occurrence. The fear of death is nothing more than the
fear of the unknown, the fear that we as human beings will be
forgotten, the fear of wondering what happens to us after we die.
Every culture has its own beliefs about life after death; it is human
nature for us to seek the comfort of a commonly-held belief of
something so unknown and so mysterious.
Death is a part of the Circle of Life. We do not exist, we are
created by the union of a man and a woman, we live out the
seasons of our lives. We complete the circle. It is both the
beginning and the end of us all as human beings, whether we are
good or bad, whether the life we live is good or bad. All Life
moves in concentric circles, some much faster than others, some
much slower. Some complete their circle in pain and illness, and
some complete their circle in health. Some complete a very
difficult circle by their own hand, by their own choices and the
consequences they must face. Some complete a very easy circle
by the choices of those before them and the luck of good health.
In the end, Death will equalize them all, and there should be no
fear as we accept that we all must die, and return to the beginning
of the Circle.
