Have you ever spent the last few moments with one who is ready to leave, to pass, to die? I have spent time with others who have left before me. I was with my ex-mother in law, Martha, during her last days before lung cancer took her away. Some folks have regrets during their last days. Some folks are ready to leave and welcome going back to our Creator. Some folks are absolutely terrified of what awaits them. And others simply push open the gates and storm the after-life.
During my time with Martha, she was one who had regrets. I don’t think she could have left without first trying to correct some of the mistakes she had made. I was one of them. She regretted that she had forced me to have an abortion some years earlier. She knew that since then, I had struggled to have a baby, but was unable. She knew that the doctor who she helped do the procedure with me, was also now being charged with dozens of crimes because he did not sterilize his equipment properly. So many women were now unable to conceive and had had many problems with lingering infections.
I was then married to her son, and I suppose she wanted to have a grandchild. She could have had two. For I was carrying twins at that time. She was very upset and asked to speak with me alone. Everyone else left us to ourselves. I wasn’t sure what she could possibly talk to me about, for I had left those times far behind me and had continued on. I never blamed her dear readers. I blamed myself. I was not strong or smart enough to take the responsibility of having my babies. I was very influenced by her anger at that time, and afraid of loosing my love, James. I was only eighteen years old. If we could all go back in time, I’m sure there would be many things we would certainly change.
Nonetheless, she was convinced that I still carried much hatred for her because of what she did. When at the last moment, I tried to climb off that operating table, and she grabbed me and forced me to stay. She told me she had carried such guilt for that action for years. I truly felt bad for her and wish I had known sooner. That was never my intention. She wanted my forgiveness before she died. She began to weep, and held my hand. She was so sorry and begged me to please allow her forgiveness that she may leave this world with a lighter heart.
I also began to cry. I hugged her so tight and told her that there was nothing to forgive. That I loved her so very much. And loved her son as well. And that she never had to worry about carrying any guilt for what had happened. I can still see her smile through her tears. I grabbed some soft tissue and wiped her face. She died less than 12 hours later. I was very relieved that she had told me what was holding on to her heart. And pray that her passing was smooth and light.
A few years later, a neighbor of ours took a bad fall during the winter months. He was a chicken farmer a few houses from ours. A very nice man. His name was Mr. Kohler. After he fell, no one knew he had fallen and it took days before anyone found him. He was very sick by then. They took him to the hospital, where he went into a coma.
When I visited him, he was hooked up to the tube in his mouth, to his lungs, which did the breathing for him. He looked so quiet. The doctor happen to come in to check him while I was sitting there talking to him. He looked at me and said, “I don’t know why your bothering, he can’t hear a word your saying.” I was very upset by his remark, and told him I believed he could hear me.
I began to tell Mr. Kohler how much God loved him. He was never a religious man at all. But I wanted to be able to just share with him what I thought happens once we leave this life. So I did. I held his hand, and I spoke softly to him. I told him that he needed to just let God’s angels come and take him home, if he felt ready to leave us. That we would surely meet again in His glorious kingdom. That all who had gone before him, would be there to greet him upon his arrival. Then I just looked at him, and realized he was crying. I wiped the tears with my hands, and told him he had so much joy awaiting him. There would be no more pain, no sorrow, no hard work. Just great love. The doctor saw the tears and told me it was impossible! He was amazed at what he saw. But I wasn’t dear readers. No matter what anyone tells you, certainly our loved ones can hear our words even if they are in a coma. So talk to them. Tell them how you love them and that its okay if they leave us. We will all meet again.
