Fear of Loss

There are reasons why an adult might be over anxious about the absence of a relative or loved one. Here are some scenarios that occur in the community and how one can ward off the sense of loss that may lead to suicidal tendencies or even more aggressive responses.

1. He may have been abandoned when he was younger or experienced the loss of a parent or a parental split up when he was younger and has not had a substitute. In many communities there are older brother and sister programs which allow young adults to experience taking care of younger children who are alone and also provides support for those families in need of someone to monitor their children.
2. When the child has a mom that goes back to the work force when he is young this too can create a trauma and the child should learn why his mom has left the house during the day. It is important that older relatives look in if they can to ensure the safety of the child and offer companionship.
3. So much has been said about dealing with personal losses both temporary and permanent and yet there are always instances where the child wanders away from the family because his emotional needs are not met. This might take the form of looking for alcohol or drugs as an alternative and then of course it is up to the family to make sure that this route is not taken.
4. Early romantic affairs can also generate a sense of loss. Then the person has to understand that loss of a girlfriend or boyfriend will allow him the opportunity to meet another and he should not take the loss personally. This of course is a likely occurrence when the youth is dumped by the opposite sex. Relationships are hardly ever permanent and the adolescent should see himself evolving from one rapport to another.
5. The sense of loss in 4 can be equated with social discontent and may also lead to a more a more socially aggressive response such as the killing that occurred at Dawson College. Here I think parents should have access to websites that their kids frequent so as to monitor any abhorrent behavior on the part of their son or daughter.
6. The loss of a loved one is not to be treated lightly if the parent wants to give the child a sense of how life ends naturally. I would tell the child what happens to their parent at an early age and leave it up to his growth so that he can comes to terms with it. The same can be said with the loss of a pet for children.
7. Fear of loss is equated to fear of death. Many of us are afraid of losing someone we love dearly because they will leave this live shortly and we may sometimes over compensate by wanting to make sure that the relative concerned is being looked after properly. We may also under compensate and ignore those relatives who are not as active as our younger selves. There has to be a balanced measure of ensuring the younger relative that the loss of life due to natural processes is not something lethal for themselves. In some cultures in fact, death is taken as a welcoming of the life that will follow.
8. A grieving process has to be allowed so that surviving relatives can get over the loss of a loved one. This can be had by arranging for a reunion among relatives to rekindle the memory of that relative. In the Jewish faith, relatives will sit Shiva to mourn the loss but also remind the affected family of the joy of being together and sharing the loss.