Breaking up with your partner can be a devastating experience but when you lose your significant other through death there are no words to describe how you feel. When I lost my husband four years ago I was totally submerged in grief and despair. I sank into an almost debilitating state of depression. I couldn’t imagine moving forward in life at that point in time. I didn’t eat properly, hardly slept and felt drained.
It seemed like I was going through life in a semi-conscious state. As I sat crying one night I realized that my husband would not want me to act like this. He would expect more from me. At that point, I knew I had to take back control of my life. Being a writer, I worked my way through the grief by writing. It became the outlet for my emotions and it also became my method of healing. Writing was my path back to the world of the living.
You can do this with any type of work, hobby or activity whether it be gardening, bowling or even walking. The point is to work through the grief by putting one foot in front of the other and moving forward. Personally, I don’t believe that grief ever goes away completely. It is a scar that remains with you forever. The hurt and grief heal but nevertheless a scar remains. That’s okay as long as you don’t let the grief consume you.
Work through the grief by keeping active and doing what you enjoy. Any hobby or activity can be therapeutic. Take writing for example. You don’t have to be a writer to benefit from writing. Keep a journal. Write out your thoughts, feelings, emotions, hurt and anger. Start a blog. Perhaps you want to keep your journal private and that’s fine but you may also choose to share your feelings with others. It can help to talk your feelings out when working through the grief process. You can do this with a friend, relative or even a therapist.
Online groups or communities for those dealing with grief can be a great comfort as well since you can share your feelings with others who are going through or have gone through the same process and understand what you are feeling. Letting your feelings out is the first step toward healing so go ahead and cry or shout then do something constructive and creative to help you work through the grief. It helps to feel needed too so you may want to consider volunteering at a daycare, homeless shelter, hospital or nursing home. When you’re busy caring for others you also help yourself to heal. You just don’t realize it.
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