Social Skills 101
As a teacher, I am confronted on a daily basis with the lack of social skills shown by most students (14 to 18 years old). They won't step aside when I try to open the door at the entrance of the school. They will often jostle me to get to their classroom without an "excuse me". When asked what they did during the summer to improve themselves, most returned a blank stare as if to say "Summer is for doing nothing, dude, not for working."
Can We Live Without Accountability?
Modern parents are so concerned about not interfering with the "natural" development of their children that they often forget the most important tenet of education: accountability. If a child misbehaves, he/she is simply searching for his/her social identity. If a teen refuses to clean his/her room, the youngster is going through a "phase" and we can't obstruct "phases". We refuse to make the children accountable, responsible, for their actions.
Unprepared Adults
The damage is not limited to today's children. Young adults between the age of 18 and 25 are showing signs that the "easy" education they received has not prepared them for the demands of modern living. They tend to complain more easily, they are less responsible in their obligations toward the job and/or their spouse. They want things to fall into their lap without working too hard, just as they received everything from their parents without deserving it.
Latchkey Children
It is true that modern parents usually have jobs that keep them away from their home; the raising of kids in this case is much more difficult. My mother worked at home as a seamstress which allowed her to keep a strict eye on my behavior. A couple of spankings as a kid and a couple of slaps as a teen promptly taught me that bad actions have negative consequences.
Our Children Need Physical Punishment
Nowadays we are afraid to touch our children, convinced that Child Protective Services will fall on us and remove our kids to foster homes. The interference of the State in our families goes too far; there is a huge difference between spanking out of love and abusing your own children out of anger.
Physical punishment is necessary; when used adequately, it can reinforce good behavior and reduce bad behavior. Words alone are not sufficient, as we can observe in the children that surround us.
Look at Lions
I challenge young parents to change their "laissez-faire" attitudes. Just as lionesses "spank" their cubs when they misbehave, so should we teach our children that life is difficult enough without adding irresponsibility to social values.
Love, Love, Love
Of course, strict upbringing should be accompanied by profound and permeating love. "I spank you, but it hurts me more than you" must be the message. Children have a keen sensitivity to emotional messages. They know when the parent is sincere and they know when the real meaning is phony. A little punishment at the right time (immediately after the bad behavior) works wonders. The worst thing you can do as a parent is to promise consequences (no TV tonight), and not enforce them. The child will never believe you again.
It is high time that society faced up to the real problem with the attitudes and behaviour of a large number of children & young adults and used common sense to sort it out.
Before this can happen - the social mindset has to change - and I worry that this will never happen.
I see naughty children in the supermarket - screaming and bawling and grabbing for sweets - parents appear too terrified of what other adults around them might think to apply discipline - so children learn that their worst behaviour is acceptable in public.