I was introduced to college life in September of 1961 at what was once the Cumberland Valley State Normal School at Shippensburg Pennsylvania. In academia, names are more important than substance, so over the years that institution was renamed Shippensburg State Teachers College, then Shippensburg State College and now Shippensburg University of Pennsylvania.
My major was math, but by necessity I learned to navigate in a land of confusion, lost records and hostile staff. I've experienced academia, as a student, an employee, and a parent of college students. I'm sharing my knowledge with those embarking on this a trek to guide them safely across the murky waters. This glossary is prerequisite to effectively deal with these formidable bureaucracies.
A. C. T. American College Test. This admission hurdle is not considered necessary if the person is over 21 years old but is required for younger admissions. This provides an opportunity to demean younger people.
ACADEMIC FREEDOM The right of faculty members to make total fools of themselves without being held accountable for their actions. Rarely do any of these so-called expressions of freedom in any way contribute to the educational environment, the welfare of the student, the pursuit of knowledge or the good of the institution. Attempts to suppress this freedom are met with cries of Nazi, Fascist, pigs.
ACADEMIC This phase of learning consumes a small percentage of the resources of the institution. It does not include the important aspects of college life, Athletics, Fraternities and Sororities, and Publishing.
ACCREDITATION Official recognition of an educational institution. The accreditation process is one that strikes terror into the hearts of all in the institution. (What if they really find out what we're doing?)
ADMINISTRATOR Generally a figure-head, promoted, according to the Peter Principle, to his level of incompetence. Placed here, he can do no harm because his subordinates know his inadequacies. No important decision is passed to his level.
ADMISSION The big hurdle, "can I get in?" During the sixties, when five students were competing for three openings, admission approximated a camel going through the eye of a needle. With the statistics reversed, the process is a mock one and no matter what impression is given, the requirements now are alive (this can be waived) and possessing or able to acquire funds.
ADVISER A person employed by the college to advise to students. Advisors have three sets of conflicting objectives. The college must make money. Optimum return is achieved when classes are full of part time students or full time students carrying a minimum number of credits. Full time students are a drain on finances if they take more than the minimum number of credits. The advisor is secure if his department continues to have adequate enrollment hence it is in his interest to keep the student in the department as long as possible. The student, in most cases wishes to complete his under-graduate degree before qualifying for Social Security. These goals conflict and generally the student comes out on the short end.
ASSOCIATE DEGREE A technical degree qualifying a person to do useful work. Since it is practical rather than theoretical, it is looked down upon in most institutions. Students in associate programs are treated as if they have a bad disease, by "real" students, the faculty and the institution. In colleges with Associate programs, these graduates are segregated from the other grads. Academia would drop these programs but alas, it too has been corrupted by the almighty dollar. Associate programs bring in real money and many of the students are part-time, the most profitable product.
BACHELORS DEGREE A four year degree, no longer valued. One is not educated without at least two doctorates. Colleges continue to confer bachelors degrees for three reasons. First, without them there would be no raw material for the beginning of real education, the Masters Degree. In addition, the conferring of BA and BS degrees finance a whole lot of other things the college holds dear. Finally, without the young males in the BA and BS programs, colleges could not operate as farm teams for professional sports.
BRANCH CAMPUS Smaller campus affiliated with the main campus. According to the party line, these provide "on par" education with the main campus (and they generally do) but the branch degrees have less snob value within academia. In their hiring, promotion and post-graduate entrance practices universities reinforce the idea that the "branch campus" is not as good as the "main campus". Of course, the word leaks out and the students suffer for it.
CAMPUS The physical college or university including the football field, sports complex, gymnasium, residence halls, administration buildings, organization offices, dining halls, heating plant, maintenance building, student health facility, faculty offices, and least important, the library, classrooms and labs.
CATALOG The advertisement for the college. With declining enrollment, it is the most important college publication. In spite of the environmental stance of most of academia and the awareness it will be outdated in one year, it is printed in large numbers on glossy paper to make it durable. More recently there are video tapes too. Many colleges are assuming the prospective students may not be able to read and hence are having video tapes included with the catalog. Who knows, a star quarterback may go elsewhere if that institution provides a video catalog showing an attractive field. Who cares about scholars, they're not so easily influenced.
