Parents as first teachers

When a child is born we all hope that that it will grow to its full potential but we also know that this is not always the case and that lives change and things happen that are beyond our control. All we can do is our best, with the knowledge that we have and choices that we make. What can we do to help our children fulfill their potential? What can we do to increase their prospects and enhance their chances of success?

In the beginning and as babies we give unconditional love and total support and encouragement. We take them to stimulating environments like the zoo, playgroups, parks and playgrounds or anywhere else we think that they may learn and grow. We read stories, play with them, teach them to do things like ride on a bike, climb up a frame; this is a learning curve where we gain knowledge of who they are and what they are like. We see and encourage this person to expand on their own achievements and we place them in positions where they can accomplish this and feel good about themselves. Success begets success. Reading, writing and mathematics are just the same, success begets success. Encouragement is all that is required.

They will get things wrong and how they feel about it will depend on your reaction. Your attitude towards them will help define their achievement. Think very carefully about this because it has a powerful impact on their lives. We know that not everyone is a scholar, scientist, inventor, mathematician, musician or athlete but we have a tendency to be a bit less hopeful and more critical when our child is not at the top of the class in a given subject. As long as they feel that they have the potential to pick up on something, they will keep trying and as long as they are doing this, they will be learning something and doing okay for themselves.

Literacy and reading are great skills to have and to encourage better reading skills, you need to read to them and have them read to you. They do not need to be corrected at every mistake they make; scoffing or laughing at them is another bad idea even if what they have said was hilarious. I would suggest that you just listen to them read ‘the reader’ the first time without interruption or comment unless they ask for help and then all you do is give them answer to the question they asked, nothing else; then you read ‘the reader’ to them. You may have to ask them to sit and listen to you reading because they may feel that they have completed their homework already. Then you need to read it again but have them sit beside you and get them point to each word as they are reading, then you point to each word as you are reading it back to them. This gives them the opportunity to correct themselves and to see without any bad feelings or negativity where they need to take care. From this experience they have heard and seen the words correctly pronounced and written. If you get through this process, you are doing well. You can do more if they are cooperative and you are truly interested, such as spelling the word or writing the word. It comes back to you, as the parent, how much time and effort do you think your child worth? Please note that this process does not have to be done in one sitting, you can do it at your leisure and it still works. You can get them to read first, and then you read and then take a break. Later, they read pointing at each word, then you read pointing at each word and then you can take another break. Then have a discussion about the story or any difficulty that they may have had when reading it. By doing this you can often get on top of any other difficulties that may have more serious consequences like a visual impairment or dyslexia.

I would encourage all parents to get involved in your child’s life, at preschool and at school. Talk to the teachers, be seen and be present, ask questions about what it is that you can do that will be of value to your child’s education. Get to know who they are as people and get to know the other people in their lives. It adds importance to your own life as well as theirs and it’s a lifelong legacy.