The Educated Rita' Syndrome, or leaving your life, your friends, and your old self behind you.
Completing an Open University degree is a lot more than gaining a qualification. It is a period of about six years during which your life can significantly change.
When I began my studies, I had spent my working life in jobs that were leading nowhere. At best I gained an internal promotion, but my hard work and capability wasn't really leading anywhere in the long term. I was tired of working for people who I could see were no smarter than I was. I was tired of working long hours, often in mind-numbing jobs, which just left me feeling unfulfilled. I was tired of running out of money.
When I started the degree I was waiting on tables for a living, and most of my friends though I had gone mad. In their eyes I was taking on a lot of extra work, and paying for the privilege. Most seemed to assume there was no way anyone would actually study for six years. My first level 1 course was continuously interrupted by people who felt the local pub was of far greater importance than "just sitting at home on your own reading" as one bight spark put it. That year I noticed I was beginning to lose friends, but I was also determined to do well.
By year two I had moved away and was living and working in a country hotel, having come to the conclusion I no longer fitted in with the old crowd who had once mattered so much. By now though I was engrossed in study, and the summer school I attended that year was one of the best experiences I have had. I didn't make lifetime friendships, but I did feel more at home with fellow students than with the people I saw on a daily basis. Back at work, like at home I saw more and more that the life and the friends I was making were not really suited to me anymore. I longed for someone in my life who would understand my enthusiasm for learning, who wouldn't laugh if I wanted to visit an art gallery, and with whom I could talk about something other than how drunk they were the night before.During this second year I discovered my academic passion; philosophy.
During the next two years I studied philosophy courses, and although I moved back to my home town, the feeling of dissatisfaction was still there. In work, I did better. The fact that I was educating myself impressed employers, and I moved quickly towards, and into a management role. As for my social life, it was going down hill fast. At least three-quarters of the people I once counted as friends no longer spoke. I was left with a small circle of people who I saw less and less often. I started to spend a lot more time at home.
I am now nearing the end of my degree and will graduate this year. I walked out of my job a few weeks ago, as I realized how awful it actually was. My few remaining friends mean well and care about me, but they don't understand. It seems, most of the time, as though we are talking different languages. They seem to constantly want to drag me back to the past.
So, am I unhappy? No, not a bit. I blame no-one for my changing relationships as I know I am the one who has changed. Looking at the people with whom I once had so much in common shows me just how great a journey I have traveled. It is great to know that in a few months I will have a degree. It is even better to realize that my confidence has grown, my self-respect has grown, and I can now understand and discuss the things that really interest me. I look forward now to making a choice. I've been invited to interviews for far better jobs than I ever dreamed I would be in. I have looked at the possibility of further study. Whatever I do, it will be my choice and that is what I have gained most. I now have a plethora of options open to me, and I look forward with excitement to a future of my own choosing. Education has enabled me to be me.
