Working in an ethnically diverse environment (the East End) I come across all manner of persons. One particular brand I enjoy my time with are the hilariously offensive racists that my job forces me to care for. Racism itself isn't prejudiced and all manner of elderly persons, sexual deviants and junkies find it quite easy to feel superior to black, Indian, Chinese, Jewish, Muslim, catholic and protestant for completely arbitrary reasons. Being the only white worker on my ward, it is I don't really have to deal with abuse, just the occasional Jewish joke from a patient that doesn't notice my big nose, large forehead, large penis, padlocked wallet and amazing good looks (I'm Jewish). Instead I get a front seat to the quietly whispered (or sometimes ridiculously loud) racist rants that as a seemingly 100% whiteboy I must be empathize with.
One old white guy, barely able to talk coherently due to being old and having MRSA once took offense to the one of the many female, Indian nurses checking if he'd washed (they often lie, the old people as it means they have to get up which can suck for the weak ones). He took offense at this and then ranted to me in front of her:
‘What's she doing, that's bloody insulting. You tell her us white people are clean unlike her lot'.
My response: ‘Erm, sir, it's not really a racial thing... more an individual choice kind of thing...'
‘Bloody insulting is what it is, we give her lot jobs and they ask if we're clean. You're the man; get her out of here.'
‘I can't do that sir, and wouldn't if I could.' And in my head ‘A couple more months and we lose another asshole... there might just be a God.'
Then you have the detoxing junkies who really have no real position of superiority trying to degrade someone else's ethnicity. Take one messed-up, syphilis-ridden Sri Lankan junkie arguing over getting his dessert from the black dinner lady.
‘You just wait; you can't come near the food as a patient. It'll be brought over to you.' (In a thick African accent)
‘Nah, come on, just gimme some cake and custard now.'
(Shouting kind of) ‘Sit back down... get out of here Mr Junkie!' (That's not his real name by the way).
(Under his breath, but I hear it and so does she kind of) ‘Black bitch!'
To me ‘What did he say?'
‘I don't really want to say it, but first word was black and second word was a female dog.'
‘That's nice... for a crackhead'.
This kind of stuff over custard and cake... some people really suck.
There's also two old women who were screaming at each other because one of them insulted the Pope and the other one happened to be Roman Catholic. I loved this fight because neither could walk so they were just shrieking at each other across the room stuff like ‘Godless bitch!' and didn't take much to settle them down... until they started again and again for 8 hours straight.
One old woman in reference to a school nearby ‘used to be all white when Janice went there. Now it's all brown... more's the pity'.
And lastly was being called Hitler by a patient because I kept telling her not to enter the kitchens. Patients aren't allowed there and this woman had MRSA. On a side note, dementia is a genuine tragedy and extremely saddening. But I'm not working on a psyche ward so this kind of stuff shouldn't be happening to me so I do bare some bitterness to having to deal with this stuff (more posts on this another time).
Anyway after calling me Hitler I had to point out to her a small fact:
‘Lady that is so unbelievably ironic that you should say that, I don't even know where to begin.'
She then turned around and walked into a door. I offered a quick thank you to God (I don't believe in him, but sometimes...) and allowed myself a small chuckle before carrying on with another awesomely surreal day.
