Where is the Black Urban Renaissance Man?

I can not help but to be mentally disturbed whenever I watch Flav of Love/Charm School with Monique. After watching the second to last episode, I pondered this question at the end of the show… WHERE IS THE BLACK URBAN RENAISSANCE MEN IN AMERICA? The fact that none of them could find the Urban Renaissance Man in the second to last episode shows wonders.

However, what does this concluded for the millions of well-rounded and educated African American Women (AAW) in America? “One contributing factor could be that African Americans males are now 5-1/2 times more likely than any other race to be incarcerated,” according to Harrison, Paige M., & Beck, Allen J., PhD, Bureau of Justice Statistics. “Among the nearly 2.2 million offenders incarcerated on June 30, 2005, an estimated 548,300 were black males between the ages of 20 and 39.”

With increasing amount of young males striving to be drug dealers, hustler, and gangster, the incarceration rate of African American Males has jumped dramatically. “One in three black men between the ages of 20 and 29 years old are under correctional supervision or control,” according to Mauer, M. & Huling, T., Young Black Americans and the Criminal Justice System: Five Years Later, (Washington DC: The Sentencing Project, 1995).

With a higher amount of African American Males serving time it has lessen the ability for AAW to find their Black Urban Renaissance Man (BURM) throughout the mayhem! The dating pool is saturated with Mr. Player and Mr. Parolee. Who are two main characters AAW need to avoid.

Mr. Parolee is the recently released ex-con or current parolee. He could be poorly educated and mostly likely already a father. They usually look for women who are already established so they can reap the benefits of her successful hard work. The only things they can usually offer are hopes, dreams, and possibly good sex… possibly. Some rely on self-pity to inflict sympathy and patience from their mates. Mr. Parolee and others often bass in the superficial and often disillusioned AAW, She knows nothing about the realities of life and the only thing that concerns her is, “have a good time.” They love those who rather have a, “piece of men than no man at all.” They know that regardless of their failed responsibilities and disrespectful behavior, she will still accept.

With alarming amounts of unacceptable mates, could AAW believe there is no hope when it comes to dating? Some black women believe that there are limited African American Men upstanding enough to be considered an Urban Renaissance Man. Perhaps some of us are overlooking them for those we should be avoiding. The biggest complaints from some AAW were that Urban Renaissance Men spoke too proper. Their manner, style, or personalities are not gratifying to the typical AAW. Some would rather converse with slang and Ebonics than hold an intelligent conversation with their potential mate.

Some AAW would argue that they are completely turned off by the clean-cut image of some upstanding Urban Renaissance Men and would prefer to down grade to the thug appeal they see on current media outlets. Rather being seen with a man with fitted but loose jeans, crisp polo or collard shirt, and nice shoes. They rather pursue someone who looks like he fits the description of a recent homicide or robbery suspect. With his pants being so big and baggy, they must be pulled up every 10 seconds to avoid from falling to the ground. Normally ensuing with a white tee shirt that is 5 sizes too big and hangs past his knees. Not to mention his platinum or gold teeth that could cause severe damage to your eyes when exposed to a reflection of light at a close range. Never forgetting his necklace, that is so robust and he will have Kyphosis at the tender age of 35.

With one third of all African American men either on probation, parole, or serving time, AAW, need to make it their top priority in finding the next BURM in their area! In theory, maybe this fellow is just Mr. Perfect disguised in a new name and attire. Maybe it is just another ghost chase that cupid has us on. However, you will never know until you look. Until you make a conscientious effort, you will continue to settle for whatever comes along. Never for what you deserve but only for what you can get.

With some African American Men continuous effort to set our people back by 500 hundreds years, the ideology of the BURM, is quickly fading to just a myth. AAW deserve so much more and it is about time that we stand up to receive God's true blessing, will you?