For many of us, even the word “mother-in-law” sends waves of uncontrolled chills down our spines. It's the voice hidden in the darkened corner that reminds us constantly of all our inabilities and weaknesses. While either spouse can suffer the never ending darts thrown as a reminder that she is still in charge, it's more often the husband's mother who wont' let go of her son.
Yet, there are ten reasons why you should like her.
- Her son. You married the guy of your dreams, the guy that brings joy and companionship into your life. It's because of her that you have him, so that's one reason to like her.
- Your children. They are a blessed product of the relationship between you and your husband. And that goes back to the fact that she had him first. So, reason number two.
- You can call her by name. Since she's not your mother, you can start your relationship by calling her by her name instead of mom. This is crucial if there's any animosity between you and it's something that can change when she does.
- She doesn't live with you. This is probably one relationship that should not live under the same roof, and if you are so lucky then you should be thankful. It's probably a lot easier to like her from a distance.
- Your husband buys her gifts. Since it's his mother and he knows her better than you, he can be responsible for picking out her seasonal gifts, leaving all your attention to your own mother. This is one less stress point for you.
- She buys for the kids. You may not be her favourite person, but she probably dotes on your kids. So, let her. And enjoy the things she buys - only don't forget to stress to her that you want the good stuff.
- Babysitter. When you're stuck for a sitter, she may be the one person who can help you out, and since she loves her grandkids, you know she'll treat them right.
- Family events. Since she is on the other side of the family, she doesn't need to be included in “your” family events, which means you can have fun. You can have separate days where his side gathers for the event and you'll make it through because you know it makes your husband happy - and the day will be over and back to normal soon.
- Advice. You need to be mature enough to accept any advice she offers that might be genuine. And that could be a good thing for you. On the other hand, if it's not then you can just brush it off and do it your way.
- Support. You know that if she has a good relationship with your husband that in times of financial need, she'll probably be there to help. It'll likely come with an unfavourable remark towards you, but regardless, she did meet that financial need at the time.
And then who knows, maybe after some time you just may accept her and like her for real.
