Most single gay men today advertise themselves in one way or another through one or more internet sites. It is probably the easiest way to connect with the largest number of people at any time. Even when you are not online, your profile is searchable and working for you. However, there are problems inherent with internet dating. For example, it is enabling us to become very particular about who we agree to meet and why. Much like fishing, we keep throwing them back looking for bigger (pardon the pun). We are discounting people too quickly without the benefit of personal contact.
A quick review of the ads online and it is easy to see that gay men are casually dating and actively engaging in one night liaisons but can we expect anything more these days? Well, it is easy to be dissuaded, but there are still many men out there who are looking for the proverbial Mr. Right. You just have to find them right?
The only way to meet that special someone and develop a long lasting relationship is to get out there and meet as many guys as you can who are interested in the same thing. I'm not saying you should meet everyone on the ‘net (and I really encourage using common sense in this regard) but dating can be fun and does not have to be too serious – a coffee, a beer, dinner, a stroll in the park or even just a quick lunch during a workday. Keep an open mind and get out there. You will be surprised at how many great guys you will encounter once you step out from behind the computer.
First advertise yourself on a site which is geared more to dating or relationships and not just sex. Make it clear in your profile that you are looking for relationship minded men and remove anything that suggests you are interested in casual sex. We are men, it happens and, not surprisingly, we actually do not have to advertise it! This is the first way to weed out the bedpost notchers.
Read your profile again. If you concentrate too much on your physical attributes or, conversely, those of your ideal mate, you will tend to attract attention from guys who probably haven't finished reading the rest of the profile. Make your profile worthy of reading from beginning to end. Have a picture or two, but avoid suggestive or x-rated photos.
Begin with a funny opener or story or recount an ideal Sunday afternoon in your world. Next try talking about your personality, characteristics and what you enjoy about other people but try to avoid creating a list of what you do not like in others. For example, saying you dislike overweight people is too subjective and someone you might not consider overweight might think of themselves as too fat for you. And you have missed out on meeting someone.
Be upfront about wanting to meet in person. Make it clear that you would rather talk face-to-face and why. Try not to get caught up with looks in making this decision. How many times have you met someone from the internet based on their gorgeous photo only to be disappointed? Well, the reverse can be true as well and it is only coffee after all.
Lastly, take pleasure in the new friends you will meet and experiences you get to share. The value in meeting new people is a worthwhile endeavour in itself but if, in the process, you should stumble upon Mr. Right, well then it is a win-win situation.
