It's that time of the year when everybody's looking for their own personal holiday miracle, even if it's only a parking spot at the mall.
During the holidays it's normal to feel like going that “extra mile” especially when you're driving in a car approaching the exit ramp that will take you to your in-laws. When all our friends and family are gathered together for a whole day in the same house to celebrate, that traditional song starts to make sense. It does seem like there are “Twelve Days of Christmas.” Although it does have one desirable element of an old-fashioned holiday. Nobody counts carbs or calories.
Everyone's likely to have a different story of past holiday magic. For some people, the first time they saw the Nutcracker come alive and dance with the Sugar Plum Fairy they were inspired… If only to get the recipe for the rum balls. Yes, many folks find their “Holiday Spirit” at least partially in a bottle. It's as traditional as eggnog. And please don't ask for “vegetarian eggnog.” Basically, you'd be handed a tumbler with a shot of rum floating a cinnamon stick.
So we hang mistletoe to promote a good natured spirit for holiday guests of all ages. Mistletoe is a plant that leads to friendliness, spontaneous kissing and goodwill to all. And you know what the best thing about it is? You can buy it anywhere and it's perfectly legal!
But there's a lot to do in preparation to make the festive event a success. When baking for holiday gatherings, use ingredients that don't stick to dental work. This helps avoid embarrassment when someone bites into a date square and even more so when someone's plate falls into the bowl while helping to mix the batter. By the way, wise women of pretty much any family will tell you that if you want to make the gingerbread men seem more realistic, just have their buttons pop off after dinner as they fall asleep. The resemblance to the real thing is uncanny.
The Holiday Tree is decorated with bright lights, shiny ornaments and tinsel. Frankly, it could easily be the official flower of Las Vegas. Some pets even take special notice of the decorated tree. If you're a cat, you have to wonder “Why are my toys on the tree?”
It's perfectly normal to have goose bumps when you're opening a sweater handmade made for you by your great-great-aunt Bessie; after all, you know there's no receipt so it can't be returned. Some people don't use ribbon when they wrap presents. There are two schools of thought on this: One is that the presents are “under-wrapped”; the other is that the presents are “free range.”
It's surprising how popular Santa Claus is considering he shows up in the same outfit every year. Come to think of it, he'd better bring a sleigh full of gifts, making a fashion blunder like that! He's made a list and checked it twice, and wouldn't you know it? - Nobody said “don't call.” Part of the reason he uses a list is to make sure that no home with a five-year-old gets a new hockey stick in the same year as a Faberge Egg or a pet turtle. And it's easy for Santa Claus to know when his holiday reparations are over. In fact, it's as simple as noticing that “Elves have left the building.”
Last year, I actually heard Santa say “Yo yo yo - Merry Xmas.” I long for the old fashioned holidays, before carolers started rapping. And ever notice after a few eggnogs that all the songs have lyrics that go “Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la?”
This Xmas Eve, I hope everyone gathers with all their friends and relatives… Far from the mall where I'll be finishing my holiday shopping. And before going to bed on the evening of the 24th, we'll make a point of leaving out eggnog and double chocolate brownies for Santa, but we don't worry about carrot sticks for his reindeer at our place. We believe in Santa Claus… Just not his reindeer.
And when the big day's over all we have to do next is get ready for New Year's, probably by choosing a New Year's resolution. That's easy. Many people make them and fuss over them, but what they don't realize is that they're just New Year's “Day” resolutions.
