Let's start by helping you out with what a chav is, well a chav is a person well I say person because they originated from people but over time they have devolved to a new type of human. They can not speak proper English, they seem to lack the ability to use common sense and tell right from wrong.
Now down to the details for you to become a chav you first step is your clothes, you can't be a chav with out the look, so go out and buy loads of Burberry clothes, Henry Lloyd and Fred Perry, these are essential to your image. Now these clothes must have stripes or a chequered pattern for them to count real chav's only where these styles, I guess it's something to do with the fact there obviously blind to style. I forgot to mention you need a baseball cap and tracksuit bottoms with them tucked in to your socks. This as puzzled me for some time as to why they do this my theory is they keep mud in their shows, when it rains the water enters their shoes by the track suit bottoms and this helps them grow taller, just theory.
Now moving on, hair is a important factor there shorter it is the more chav you are, their leaders will have their hair so short they have actually just scalped them selves, this shows how tough they are and they don't need hair, hard as they are.
Now speech, this is important as everyone knows chav's communicate with one another by grunts, they seem to have lost the ability to speak, although when they do master a few words they tend to say something like “want a fight?”, “what are you looking at?” and “dickhead”. These are all they know, also when they do speak they use the side of their mouth to create a retarded sound effect to scare us into thinking they are much harder then they are.
Sense, they don't have any to become one you must master the heart of not been able to thin at all especially for your self, chav's are a pack of hounds they need a leader then they must confirm with him that what they are all doing is what he wants, example, “grunt grunt what you wanna do?” and he will reply “grunt lets sit in their and abuse these people grunt”. That is a classic chav moment they do not know right from wrong or right from their left they are some of the dumbest people you will ever meet out there.
This is a idiots guide to been a chav my advice don't they are the dumbest people you will come across.
