A marriage license represents a couple that is legally married. It is an official piece of document accepted by society, that says, "now you are legally married and you both should fulfill your roles as husband and wife!" what about for those couples that have been living together for many years without a piece of legal paper? Do they consider their relationships as husbands and wives?
My close friend and I had dinner one night at a nearby restaurant where he lives. I had not seen him for almost one year. During dinner, we started the conversation by asking each other, "How have you been?" He said to me, "We broke up a month ago," before I could question him why, he said to me, "She just stopped loving me." As my thoughts were racing through my head, I continued eating. We have been friends for many years; and over the years, he had been involved in several relationships but unlike other time, this time was different – he and his ex-girl friend had been living together for almost three years.
I have witnessed many of his breakups. It seemed like he was such a strong survivor because every time he has been able to move on with his life. Unlike every other time, this time he was heartbreaking and upsetting. Three-year of marriage without the official marriage license and she just stopped loving him!
Sometimes people want to live together without getting married for many reasons. One of the reasons is because people want to have an easy way out when the relationship does not work out. Another reason is each partner does not know if his/her mate is going to be the right person for life. "Trial marriage" is a term labeled for this arrangement. I am not in any position to comment on this kind of relationship but I do have some ideas why this type of arrangement rarely works. What makes two people stayed together? There must be some form of connection or tie to link a couple together; otherwise there would be no motivation leading to marriage. The theory of moving-in together could be considered as a beginning stage where the relationship was still genuinely "sizzling." The purpose is to fulfill intimacy. The couple acts as husband and wife but without the official title of marriage. Some found that the arrangements were so comfortable and convenient that they probably did not even consider about marriage. In the same token, who would want to take their wedding pictures after the weddings? The whole purpose of taking wedding pictures before the wedding ceremony is because that was the time where the relationship was still fresh. In addition, how many people actually want to renew their wedding vows after many years of marriage? How about after many years living together, out of passion, the wife feels like asking her husband to renew their vows, but before they proceed with the process, the husband has to propose to his wife just like the first time (with the same exact words). For many couples, the loves were still there after many valuable times spending together, but how about the mood and the sensitivity that happened when they first got married?
What is the percentage of the population actually has a chance to marry to a loved one? Some old-fashioned marriages could last a lifetime. My grand parents had never met before the wedding and they have had fifty years of good marriage. I know that they had tried very hard toward their differences to keep the relationship working; and they did not believe in divorcing their spouses. Nowadays, people have the freedom to select and the divorcing rate is much higher compare to before. During the "trial marriage," how many of these couples faithfully believe in commitment, and truly attempt to work on their relationships? If one partner made one error that would cause enough reason for a break up, in this case what is the purpose of getting married? Maybe since the relationship is so fragile then people might as well should to stay single.
In my friend's situation, his partner just wanted to try a new partner and what made the "goodbye" so convenient was because they were not married. Three years of "marriage" and one day she just said to him, "I am no longer in love with you and it's time for me to move on." Marriage or no marriage, when one partner stops loving his/her mate, this should be the time to let go. Unlike making a mistake, when the feeling is passed there is nothing left to work on. Forcing a person to stay in a relationship without love is meaningless.
