So, the romance is dead and all that's left to do is to pack up and move on. Easier said than done if you need to retain a divorce lawyer. Fine tuning a divorce settlement can go a long way toward establishing your post-marital bliss… or misery.
Ask Around for Referrals
If you know of someone in a similar situation who had a great outcome, don't be shy about asking who she used for her divorce lawyer. Call that relative who knows everyone's business and ask her for suggestions.
Determine Your Budget
What can you reasonably afford to pay a divorce lawyer? Avoid the $400/hour firms if your total budget is $1,000. Keep in mind that if you had minimal income compared to that of your spouse during the course of the marriage, your partner may be ordered to pay at least a portion of your legal fees.
Free Legal Aid
Most county seats have a legal aid office designed to give free legal advice to those in need of guidance. The lawyers or paralegals at Legal Aid offices explore your options with you and point you in the right direction.
Free Divorce Consultation
Many attorneys offer free consultations for someone considering a divorce or who has been served by their partner with a separation or divorce filing. Try not to rant and rave or use the session to vent. It is an interview so you can identify your options and see if you have confidence in the lawyer's ability to represent you effectively.
What is Your Goal?
Think about what you really want to accomplish hen keep focused on your preferred outcome. Do you want her to suffer for her transgressions? Are you willing to forgive him that affair if it means you retain custody of the children? Select a tenacious lawyer if you want a contentious divorce and you may consider mediation if you are flexible and just want an amicable parting.
When Mediation Is a Good Alternative to a Lawyer
If you don't have a lot of marital assets to distribute and you and your spouse agree on most of the important points, then mediation may work for you. Many times the mediator is a lawyer who represents both parties equally. He can draw up your filings and submit them to the court without a lot of the rancor that can accompany a divorce filing. Only opt for mediation if you trust your spouse, though it is a great way to minimize the cost of your divorce.
