Socyberty > Law

Your Daughter's Life in UK : Facts You Should Know

It is not a shah rukh khan movie, please watch provoked to understand what happens in this country.

The laws in UK are very strict. Your daughter will be given a two year visa. If she passes this two year period she can stay in this country. During this period your daughter will be completely dependant on her in-laws and husband to stay in this country.

Maybe we are to blame as well, as we Asians believe that any country overseas means dollars and pounds, which is not the case. It is because of this sense of self importance your educated and beautiful daughter could be abused by her in-laws as they believe that they are doing your daughter a favor by giving her a chance to settle in this country.

They are in possibility of a lower stratum in UK society than you are in your Indian society. Please be aware that if the spouse is not earning around 35000 pounds to 40000 pounds, your child will have to fend for herself. As many banks in this country will not allow your daughter to open her own bank account in the first year, in all possibility your daughter's salary will be going into her husband's account. Its then up to him whether he wants to open a joint account or keep your daughter on an allowance of her own money.

Since the UK police comes down very hard on perpetrators of domestic violence in this country, the abuse that your daughter will suffer will be of such a kind that it will not leave any marks on her body that her physician can report to the police, it will be a crime of such a nature that your child will be too ashamed to tell anyone and will include gross neglect, mental torture and public and private humiliation (please be prepared for acts of violence of a sexual nature).

Within this time -frame if your daughter leaves her husband, according to UK government:

  1. Your daughter will have to leave this country, according to the UK visa laws your daughter has to be living in the same address as recorded during the grant of her UK visa and when she leaves her husbands house she negates this stipulation
  2. When she loses her visa she loses her right to work in this country
  3. According to the UK law if the marriage breaks down within two years, your husband does not owe your daughter any maintenance or alimony as the marriage is only one or maybe two years old. The UK govt. believes that if you daughter is in her20's she is still young enough to start her life afresh and so her husband does not owe her anything.
  4. If your child does not have a baby, her case does not even stand a chance in court
  5. Please forget ever getting back any gift money or gold that you gave to the husband's parents unless of course you have actual legal proof of it. If it can't be proved in the court of law they don't give you anything.
  6. While your daughter's life will be destroyed, this same family will easily get their son married off to some other girl, in possibility from your own pindh

Please think twice. I am saying this as a sister and a daughter. A message to all the father's in India.

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Comments (13)
#1 by Nidhi, May 15, 2007
Hi Bhavna

I'm in a similar situation. I don't get along very well with my mother-in-law and my husband does not support me as well. I'm from Delhi and am I in London for just under a year. Please can you help me or advice me what I should do?
#2 by Nidhi, May 15, 2007
And I don't want to go back to India back to my parents as my life out there will be hell. Please help....
#3 by Nidhi, May 18, 2007
Hi Bhavna, still waiting for your response....
#4 by the author, May 25, 2007
nidhi , frankly speaking i am not a counsellor , i wrote this article for fathers before they married their daughters into UK. all i can say that if you fear for your life call 999. you must even have an idea what kind of an abuse goes on in this country. keep yourself safe your self -respect and your physical and mental welfare are very important. do you have relatives here ?
#5 by bhavna, May 25, 2007
nidhi , you cant stay in this country if your husband does not sponsor you , and that is the hold he has on you and that is why your in-laws torture you and think they can get away with it. nidhi let your story be known. tell the world . dont be a victim
#6 by Nidhi, May 26, 2007
thank you for your advise. but how do i get counselling and help? how will i tell my story to everyone. if my husband doesn't sponsor me...should i just stay with him and bear all this till i get my visa and after that i can do what i want. should i take legal advise? i don't have any relatives here. i am so young only 18 yrs old and my in-laws taunt me everytime. i don't know who to talk to? my mother tells me to compromise. i'm so depressed that this is happening to me. i had so many dreams...but now they are just dreams.
#7 by bhavna, May 26, 2007
you are lucky you are only 18 years old ! its a pity your husband does not love you or he would have never let you go through all this . its upto you about what you want to do . trust me even in our own country times have changed , I know a lot of girls who are in a worse condition than you are. speak to your parents and tell them the truth your life is more important then anything else , are you sure you want to stay the rest of your life with a man who stood aside while his parents abused you?speak to your parents and confront your husband as well. as to how to help you get a visa nidhi , i am sorry i dont have any answers for that question.
#8 by nidhi, May 27, 2007
thanks bhavna for taking the time to reply back. I'm so grateful that someone atleast is there. what would u have done if u were in my situation? do u think after i get my visa to stay in this country, i can apply for divorce? because i am young i can find another man and remarry. the reason i'm asking u this is because u said that u know a lot of other girls who are in same or worse situation. no, i've made my mind up that i don't want to live with my husband. he lied to me and to my parents. if i knew he was a mummy's boy then i wouldn't have married him. i don't know what to do. i feel like committing suicide. my parents are not going to help me. u know how it is india life of a divorcee.
#9 by bhavna nair, May 28, 2007
oh well then take care and next time make sure you know the background of the person you are marrying . too many conmen gurl !!
#10 by Nidhi, May 29, 2007
can u atleast guide to some counseller like u told me before.
#11 by bhavna, May 30, 2007
speak to your physician , i am sure even your husband's company can also give you free counselling service
#12 by nichole , Mar 5, 2008
ladies this is the saddest situation I have ever heard of, May God or whom ever you believe in protect you and guide your desicions. My thoughts and prayers are with both of you.
#13 by author, May 17, 2008
thank you for understanding nidhis predicament. i am fine and blessed with a good husband
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