Dear friend
Thank you for your postcard from Blackpool, ah that brings fond memories of a short break I took there during the summer of 1983, well some of the holiday was one to prompt fond memories, but there was a rather embarrassing mishap or two at the guest house I was staying at; you might know it, the big white guest house that is like a Swiss chalet, The Blackpool Hilltop.
It was June of "83, I had been invited as a guest of a dear friend to join him at The Blackpool Hilltop. I arrived nice and early, catching a very early train, no I did not cycle there. It was a great pleasure to meet my old friends, all from my days at St Josephs College. I was shown to my room, which was on the second floor, and very impressed as to the fact I had a double bed, a pleasure I have greatly appreciated as I fidget a lot during the night. I left my luggage in the room and found my way downstairs to enjoy a nice cup of tea with everyone. It was so refreshing to talk among old friends, the tea was as well. At around three thirty we all decided to take a stroll along the sea front, I felt so naked without my pastoral robes just in trousers and t-shirt. I take a long time I know to get to the story, but let me begin, that walk nearly changed the direction I was going in life. We had taken a ride on an open top tram, one of those all dressed up with cut outs on the front and sides and the lights festooned all around; it was fun for us all, then I fell backwards at the rear of the tram, unseen by anyone I disappeared over the end. Fortunate for me, my leather belt caught a one of the fancy side panels, I was suspended between Tom and Jerry, hanging hooked over a mouse hole shouting for all my lungs could exhued. It was astonishing, people just waved back thinking I was waving at them as though I was part of the trams display. My friends thought I had left the tram and hurried downstairs to follow me, there they looked up and down the parade for me without results, obviously. How embarrassing as they saw me at the rear of the tram hanging up there as it pulled away. “Help!” I shouted, as the tram trunddled along with my five friends running behind.
Now that might have been a quality leather belt but I do not think it had been road tested in this manner, when I felt it kind of slip a notch, I quickly held on to what ever I could, at the same time crossing myself in anticipation I was about to fall to the roadway. By now not only my friends were running behind the tram but what I can only describe as a holiday camp in numbers had pursued me, with cameras aand hands waving everywhere. Well the belt finally gave up the ghost, I felt myself falling and as I did was left swinging in the air, my hands clasped for dear life to the legs of the Tom cut out at the rear of the tram. A group of woman had caught up with me just as the tram came to rest at a stop, which gave me a jolt, they had grabbed my legs but to my horror my trousers now belt less, fell to my ankles. Well it was to be expected in the end I lost my grip and as I did I fell on top of the women. What a right idiot I looked standing there amid all these laughing ladies to be sure, and me with my trousers to the floor. I tell you that ranks the most embarrassing moment so far, oh yes I say so far, my stay in Blackpool was not over yet.
I hope your not one jump ahead of me because that evening was a night to remember.
After the evening meal at The Blackpool Hilltop guest house, we had a few drinks in the bar, and to be expected, my escapade on the tram was almost the only topic of discussion. In fact the barman asked me to sign his Polaroid snapshot, he had been there at the time, it was like I had done something to be remembered, only I would prefer to forget.
It was around eleven thirty that we all started to yawn so much that one by one we headed for our rooms and a good nights rest. As for me I was looking forward to the double bed and two soft pillows.
Once in my room, I could not help but chuckle at the right to do on the tram. It was not funny at the time, but now I was laughing all the time as slipped into my pyjama"s, brushed my teeth, then slipped into bed. I was exhausted but suitably pleased to be with my friends.
I was not sure what time it was that heard this growling noise, so loud it was that it had woken me from sleep. Then as I turned in my bed I was shocked into disbelief, there next to me with eyes closed and snoring loudly as a pig was Augustas Smart, one of my friends. “My god man what are you doing in my bed!” I exclaimed, startling Augustas into a shocked awakening. Like myself he sat upright, both of us stared in disbelief, “What are you doing in my bed?” he exclaimed, as he did leaping out of the bed in his blue stripped nightshirt. For some time we stared at each other, unable to mentally work out the odd encounter we have met.
I said to Augustas, “I believe this is my room!” he looked confused.
I will not say anymore, he made a mistake, until I write again.
Yours hospitably
Father N Milligan
PS you see why your card bought back memories.
