Because of our modern busy lifestyles, it becomes easy to forget that we live alongside others who have needs just like we do. We treat people like props set up behind an orchestra which solely exist to play the background tunes to our lives.
Our lives could be happier and more fulfilled if we were more charming
and paid a little more attention to the needs of other people around us. Here are some ways in which we could help.
If you know that a friend is due home after a long time away, leave milk, bread, juice, some cakes and a paper or magazine at his/her home.
Write a thank you note to your child's teacher for no apparent reason. It will make her/his day, and it would also reap benefits for your child.
On the spur of the moment, throw your neighbours' papers unto their porch no matter if you think they deserve it or not. You could also wheel in their bin after the bin men have been if you know they'll be at work all day.
Buy a ticket to a movie and send it to someone who's been working very hard lately.
Send a funny card to your partner's office and write a loving message inside. It will put a smile on their faces and remind them that you still love them, and that you still enjoy fun in your relationship just as you did in the beginning. You could also include a picture of you two taken on your honeymoon or first holiday.
If a friend/colleague/partner has had a hard day, offer to role-play the events which led up to the bad day with a funny twist. This will go a long way to help them get over it.
Leave an extra tip for the person behind the coffee/flower/petrol/food store/restaurant/ counter where you visit today, and compliment them on a good job. I'm sure that yours would be the only one they receive that day. Not only would it make their day, it would put a smile on their faces and help them to see that that they're appreciated after all.
Instead of selling off unwanted presents on e-bay, fill up a box of stuff that you and/or your kids don't want, take it into work/college/school/church and invite colleagues to help themselves. Getting something for free always cheer people up.
Once in a while, get a hot drink for the beggar/homeless/busker you pass in the street on your way to work in the mornings. Ask him his name and on your pay day, get him a sandwich as well. It will cost you next to nothing but to him, it would mean the world. If he has a dog, leave it a treat as well.
If you're visiting someone who has a child, offer to read the child a story or do a puzzle together, this means a lot to a parent. If you have a friend who's a single parent, offer to have the child, or one of the children over to your place for dinner and games. This gives the parent a welcome break, and means more than you could imagine.
Great advice, Anne! I always say thanks in the truckstops...most of the time I just get a blank stare in return.
#3 by M.T. Bargeman, Jan 18, 2008
What a nice article! Nice to see something happy once in a while. Look at that- you made MY day!
M
#4 by IcyCucky, Jan 18, 2008
Beautiful things to do. Great list, and wonderful ideas.
#5 by AndyPAnda, Jan 18, 2008
Well thought out.
Not as obvious as it should be to us all.
#6 by Anne Lyken-Garner, Jan 18, 2008
Thank you B.Radley.
Nick, you're right, people are shocked when someone's nice to them because they have become so accustomed to being taken for granted.
M.T, and you've put a smile on my face on a day when the flu has flushed all my energy away and I'm stuck in bed.
Cucky and Andy, thank you both for your encouragement.
#7 by Dee Huff, Jan 18, 2008
These are such nice thoughtful things to do. Lovely article. I'm smiling now :)
#8 by Farlene McFarlane, Jan 18, 2008
This is a very well thought out article, Anne. The little jesters of kindness we show to others can be more appreciated than we know.
Nicely done.
#9 by Darlene McFarlane, Jan 18, 2008
Sorry for the BooBoo on my name above. When fingers try to keep up to your thoughts....
#10 by Liane Schmidt, Jan 19, 2008
Beautiful, wonderful article.
Best wishes.
Sincerely,
-Liane Schmidt.
#11 by Josey, Jan 19, 2008
This is very touching. I love when people are kind, just for the purpose of being kind. It can really make someone's day. You have some wonderful ideas here. Keep up the good work.
#12 by Synthia, Jan 19, 2008
Yes, some of these are good ideas, but some of them have to be done carefully otherwise you risk committing an insincere, outright imposing act.
#13 by Judy Sheldon-Walker, Jan 19, 2008
Beautiful article. I love random acts of kindness. Some of them don't cost a cent but are priceless to the recipient. Great reminder, Anne.
#14 by Ray Ortiz, Jan 19, 2008
Homeless people who have a "Will work for food" sign don't really want food. They can't store it. Most of them will get pissed if you give them food. Give them money. Yeah they will probably buy a beer with it but if they are happy so be it.
#15 by Nutty Buddy, Jan 19, 2008
Those are lovely ideas.
#16 by Anne Lyken-Garner, Jan 20, 2008
Thanks everyone for your remarkably supportive comments.
#17 by Nelson Doyle, Jan 20, 2008
Very caring article that reflects the beauty that this world can be if it chooses.
#18 by Meri Jeffrey, Jan 21, 2008
All great ideas!
#19 by Sadeth Cheng, Jan 21, 2008
Very nicely done. I love to see people happy.
#20 by lanne, Jan 22, 2008
Just reading this article made my day. Nice to see that there are still some out there that care about how others feel. Thanks Anne.
#21 by Jennifer Young, Jan 23, 2008
Great advise! I can see myself doing all, but 4 and 8!
#22 by ImaNicePerson, Jan 23, 2008
Awesome!
#23 by Anne Lyken-Garner, Jan 26, 2008
Thanks all for your generous comments.
#24 by ac, Feb 2, 2008
Nice article, with good suggestions, i really enjoyed the way that you laid the article out because it meant that i was able to read it quickly, but still be informed!
P.S thanks for not making me leave my email address, unlike other sites where you have to in order to comment. Have a great day!
#25 by CEG, Feb 2, 2008
These are excellent ideas. A great way to shed happiness and to infuse our own lifes with a bit of Zen calm. I only slightly wonder about number 3. Neigbors may misenterpret these gestures. They may wonder if you feel they're sloppy about the bin or the paper lying on the yard. Then again they may have an aneurism after the shock of neighborly kindness in this day and age :-)
#26 by alberto, Feb 2, 2008
I try to improve myself doing the following:
* For every thing new that I learn, I quickly try to do something with this new learned thing that would help people. Anything would do, because the main idea is thanking everyone for letting me know something useful to myself (and to the others :))
* I cannot change the way things are, but I can always try to... If I am forced to do something that is not what I believe is correct, I try to compensate it by doing something to others as I would have done it if I were free to choose. This doing erases with some satisfaction my bad experience. The point is to do something of the same level as my contradiction.
Hope that it helps!
#27 by LivSimpl, Feb 2, 2008
My wife recently went out of her way to serve me. Her gift was something she did for me - a simple act of kindness told me so much about the way she felt about me and touched me deeply. To many it would probably seem trivial, but it made my day and then some.
I wrote about it in-length here ([tinyurl.com]) if you'd like to read about the experience. (I don't want to try to summarize it in this comment - I'm afraid I won't do it justice!)
#28 by Pamela Slim, Feb 2, 2008
Great ideas Anne!
You can never go wrong by being kind.
I just did a similar post on my blog, inspired by the "loving kindness" meditation.
When someone has done their job well (especially customer service reps), thank them and tell them what they did that you appreciated. If you get outstanding help from that person (yes, it DOES happen), ask if you can leave positive feedback with their supervisor. It takes a few extra minutes, but I\\\'ve found it spreads a lot of cheer for a small amount of effort.
#30 by Eolo, Feb 3, 2008
what if someone else laugh on our good will? What if i give all i have to make someone else happier and she criticize, telling that she can be much more if she listening to their heart? Should i give up? Should i ignore? Or should i fight with others "weapons"? I know she can be better than she is/was...
#31 by Anne Lyken-Garner, Feb 3, 2008
It's suberb to get all this feed back. Thanks everyone for stopping by and adding your bit to make this article even better.
This is to #30 Eolo, People who truly love you won't laugh at your goodwill. As with every relationship,if we keep giving each other 50-50 we'll only end up meeting each other half way. Therefore, if each side gives their all to make the other happy, there wouldn't be an uneven relationship with one person looking to take what the other has to give without reciprocating.
If there is a constant stuggle leaving one person feeling like he/she has to continually give more in order to be loved, there is something not quite right with the person on the receiving end.
One thing to remember is no matter how hard you sow an infertile patch of ground, it wouldn't yield you any fruit. Your efforts would only grow up and mature if you're toiling fertile, receptive soil.
#32 by valli, Feb 3, 2008
Great ideas, Anne.
#33 by Lucy Lockett, Feb 4, 2008
What a generous spirit you are! This is the best article I have read today.Little things mean alot!
#34 by aceparable, Feb 4, 2008
If everyone was nice all the time, people would appreciate it less and less. It seems horrible but the world needs to be mostly dark for these tiny acts of kindness to stand out and shine.
#35 by Fred, Feb 4, 2008
9. Shouldn’t encourage vagrancy other then that the rest weren't bad.
#36 by James, Feb 5, 2008
Especially in the winter, give a homeless person your old sleeping bag or blankets. It could mean the difference between life or death.
And, Fred, try a little empathy. The people who live on the streets are usually there because the other options are worse. They don\'t sleep rough because they love the fresh air! Vagrancy is our fault because the society we create doesn\'t give these people better options (e.g. refuges for abused children/women/mental patients, unemployed, etc.). Keeping them warm and fed does not make it a soft option.
#37 by quiet voice, Feb 5, 2008
...what a thoughtful person you are,
great points, most don't cost anything
or very little. Only human kindness.
#38 by Nelson Doyle, Feb 6, 2008
Anne, very thoughtful and thought out article. I love giving and these are some wonderful ideas to keep in mind.
Nelson Doyle
#39 by MsSwarr, Feb 11, 2008
I love these ideas! My husband and I have a great relationship, but sometimes we forget to do these little (but important) things for each other. What a difference a small gesture makes!
The other day I was following a delivery van with a "How's my driving?" sticker on the back. I happened to notice that he was being very courteous to fellow drivers, so I called the number. The woman on the other end of the line sounded run down and a bit grumpy when she sighed, "so what's the problem?"
"Oh nothing," I said. "This driver is great and is being very kind to the rest of us on the road. I just wanted to say thanks."
Her response made me sure I had made a difference. Funny how an out of the blue thought can change someone's day.
#40 by chrehn, Feb 12, 2008
Thankyou. I needed a boost today.
#41 by Mayank, Feb 20, 2008
Surely.. Some simple things count a lot sometimes.
#42 by P V Ariel, Mar 1, 2008
Great Ideas and suggestions. We may think it’s so silly, but it makes great difference to the recipient. Thanks for sharing this. pvariel@gmail.com
#43 by Anne Lyken-Garner, Mar 1, 2008
It's remarkable that so many people would take time out to leave comments here. Sometimes we hear that the world is increasingly becoming an unfriendly place, this clearly is not true if so many people are interested in how to make someone else happy.
#44 by wow, Mar 1, 2008
You probably make a lot of money from this tiny article.
#45 by Marta Ager, Mar 6, 2008
Wonderful- Will use these throughout year!!
#46 by Llarma McFarlane, May 7, 2008
oh mi goshh this is so inspirationall!!! i own a llama farm so it is not that easy for me to commmunicate with the outside world but this has shown me how to make friends. i used 2 of these ideas and now i have the best friend in the entire world!!! i am so happy. these have showed me that llamas are not the only thing that will make someones day. THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME THE TRUE MEANING OF SPRING!
#47 by Anne Lyken-Garner, May 8, 2008
No, thank YOU for your generousity.
#48 by Llarma McFarlane, May 8, 2008
No really, thank YOU
#49 by Llarma McFarlene;;; numero ocho , May 10, 2008
HI! wow. i can not express as much generosity as i am feeling right now after reading all those moving and touching and emotional and inspirational ideas. I mean i tried them but no one really did anything back because no one really likes me. i am kind of anti-social, except for my many llama frieds. i love them so much and nothing can ever part me from them. welll, i better get going. i have to go pick them up from the vet and then take them back to the vet. hahahah good bye and good luck and no really, THANK YOU FOR YOUR GENEROSITY!
#50 by Anne Lyken-Garner, May 11, 2008
Hi Llarma, thanks for your kind comments. If you like this article, I've got a second one like it. Just click on the words 'more charming' in the second paragraph of this article above and it will take you to the second part.
Thanks once again. I'm sure that because you think people don't like you anyway, you don't make a special effort to be social.
If YOU think of yourself as anti-social, you may have put people off you in the past. Not because you are unkind, but because as a sort of defence mechanism, you feel that you have to lash out at them BEFORE they're unkind to you.
The only person who could stop this from following you around is you. However, you have to remember that 'once bitten twice shy' and people have to be sure that you're being kind to them for the right reason, before they let their guard down and let you in. You've got to be consistant in your efforts to win them, but once you have, you've got to maintain that nice person that lives inside of you and has so much love and generousity to share (not only to animals, but to people as well).
If after winning them over, you revert the old ways you've described, you would lose them forever.
No one has to have lots of friends, but good friends are gems when you can find them. I have a feeling that you could be one of those rare finds to someone - loyal and true - but you have to put in the effort, especially if you've been a bad girl in the past.
Here's to new friends...
#51 by Llarma McFarlane...xoxo, May 11, 2008
wow. you are exactly right. i talked to my counselor and i guess you are right- i feel emotionally ustable because of things i have done in my past. i have had many bad experiences with both friends and foes, but with your advice, i met someone named Marge. She is in my book club and i don't want to embarrass her if she ever reads this but she is an AMAZING friend. if she ever reads this, i hope she feels the same way about me. Speaking of friends, i ran into an old friend the other day at Build-A-Bear Workshop. it was so good to catch up and forget about bad experiences in the past. i am seeing her again this weekend so wish me luck! Here's to new friends, and rekindeling old flames......xoxo Llarma
#52 by Marge, May 11, 2008
hahahhahah wow llarma. i really didnt know you felt that way about me. just to let you know, i reallly love you too and you are also an AMAZINGLY GREAT AWESOME TRUE RELIABLE AND SAAWWEEETTTT friend. we should definatley rekindle the old flames again and go build a teddy bear for our friendship at butld-a-bear workshop. gosh, i love that place. well i better go get reading, i have a 1,000,427 page book that i have to finish before the next book club meeting. love you!
ohh and those tips really work. they have really inspired me to become a better person. so, thanks a bundle. :)
#53 by Llarma McFarlane...xoxo, May 11, 2008
o my gosh. i had no idea that you read this article too Margee! is that why you bought a ticket for me for the movie last weekend?!?!?! Aww you are too kind ; ) I hope everyone sees this as a lesson...no matter where life takes you, you can always find a true friend. i recommend listening to "True Friend" by Hannah Montana. (i know she is a teen but her song is as inspiring as this article).......xoxo
