A Kiss & Chivalry

I love gentlemen. Chivalry has not died, as many people might think it has. It is something that is quite alive and wonderful, but it something that is special and must be earned I have noticed. You must exude a certain quality that gracefully demands the act of polite respect from others.

Take the following story as an example:

I recently met a man at a party. We talked and had a great time getting to know each other, but soon after we chatted a bit he wanted to kiss me. He had informed me that he had been drinking earlier and call me old fashioned, but I didn't want my first kiss with anyone to be slightly hazy and forgotten due to something like intoxication. Beside that, I didn't know the man very well. I feared this might deter him from wanting to get to know me better, but I was not about to compromise my values. Luckily, he still wanted to talk to me.

As the evening progressed, we continued to enjoy a pleasant “normal” conversation. The dating scene has definitely helped to open my eyes regarding the wide range of people in the world; there is great value in “ignorance is bliss”. So, I am always so thrilled when I am able to have a nice conversation with someone who I find attractive and vice versa. It reminds me that there are still good men out there and that the man of my dreams is too.

After awhile longer he attempted to kiss me a few more times. Each time I politely, but firmly told him “no”. Again, I thought this might for sure make him lose interest. After all, if he was so anxious to kiss me maybe he just wanted one thing. In addition, he kept asking me to hang out with him after the party. It was already 2am in the morning!

But, when it was finally time for him to leave he motioned for me to lean in as if he was going to tell me a secret in my ear. I did and to my surprise he lightly kissed my cheek. I felt touched, like the true lady I know I am. He chuckled saying how he got a kiss in. Then a little while later he kissed my cheek again. Again, it was a sweet nice gesture and it worked wonders for me. And, then to top things off, he did one more thing to make our meeting special. He took my hand and kissed it.

Tonight I was reminiscing about his actions and decided to look up the different meanings of kisses. This is what I found for the cheek and hand kiss:

“Cheek Kiss - A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. Hand Kiss - Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.”

(cited from: Romantic Lyrics)

Reading these whether they are accurate meanings of each kiss or not, truly made me feel good because they accurately reflected the way the kisses made me feel. I believe I received such beautiful gestures of respect because I gracefully demanded them with my actions.

Thus, by this simple situation and many others, I have learned that if you want to be treated like a lady, or for you men, like a gentlemen, it is quite easy. You must simply not only act like one, you must be one.

And, always keep in mind your actions define who you are and your character; and remember, we teach others how they are allowed to treat us.

Best wishes to all.