I have been a manic depressive for years, and over this last year, I discovered that no medication would really help my situation. I decided to take my own happiness and well being seriously, without the help of medications. Too often I find that many people turn to medication to fix certain "unfixable" situations. I fell victim to that way of thinking myself. A pill for this, a drink for that. It never seemed to work.
I will be turning 40 in less than a month, and I am embracing my age with open arms. Now, if you would have asked me about that about a year ago, I would have been shaking in my boots. I feel better, I am happier, more lovable, so therefore, more loved. I am by no means telling you that you should chuck all your meds down the toilet, I am simply telling you that there is another way to regain your own sanity and love for yourself the only way I know how. That's just simply telling you what I did for myself and the people that I dearly love.
The first thing I did was to look at myself hard and long in the mirror. I didn't like the lifeless person that peered back at me. My hair was dull, skin was dry and flaky, and my whole appearance was unkempt and scary. I decided to make a change. This was about ten months ago. I was on zanyx and valium. With my doctors advice, I was able to wean myself off of the medication. I started to eliminate certain things from my diet and life.
Elimination Check List
- Caffeine
- Alcohol
- Fast Food
- Toxic Relationships
- The Past
- Guilt
That's a mighty big check list. It wasn't easy at first, but as time went on, it got easier and easier. Day by day I could feel my body and mind becoming healthier. It was time to move on to another regime.
Additional Check List
- Sleep
- Diet
- Exercise (Emotional and Physical)
- More Intimacy
- Connection to the World
- Nature
- Hobbies
With my diet aspect came a whole new world of happiness that I never realized I had the talent for. I realize now that food is not my enemy. It is my friend, and it nourishes my body. Just like a real friend is there to nourish your soul and self-esteem.
When I got rid of my toxic friends, I found that it was much easier to just "let them go" then it was to try and salvage a "very long relationship." They were destroying my life force, and I wanted them gone for good. You know what I'm talking about here. The friend that says "oh, come on, can"t you just do this one thing for me,' and inside that little voice is saying, "why should I?" Get rid of those people. They don't deserve the air you breathe. They're soul suckers.
Love yourself more than anyone or anything else! If you are not well, then how can you spread wellness and joy? It's impossible.
New Vocabulary:
- I love myself for who I am and what I am right now!
- I am the most important person in my life!
- I love my life!
- Learn the word NO!
- I am a better person today than I was yesterday!
- I am worthy!
- Learn it!
- Love it!
- Live it!
- Mean it!
Once my life and ideals started coming together, I found joy in simple things. I found that I loved cooking and spreading joy by nourishing people. What a great gift!
I now take walks early in the morning, and marvel at nature's simple pleasures. The birds coming back after a cold winter, blossoms on trees, the warmth of the sun! I cannot begin to tell you how much better my life has become. It was all just waiting inside, just like a seed waiting for the warmth of the sun and fresh rain.
It's within you too. Give yourself back to yourself! You're worth it!
