Going Through the Motions

You may have experienced, as a child, the sensation of mud between your toes; the gentle fragrance of a spring flower, the succulence of a peach plucked fresh from the tree. Remember how capable you were of taking it all in - how you reveled in the experience?

How is it that in a world that is ripe and teeming with experiences, sensations and a wealth of possibilities we so often find ourselves just going through the motions? How is it that we take actions that we are totally detached from? How is it that we talk in manufactured voices that we are not even connected to, speaking words that we don't even hear? I'll tell you how it is.

When I was five years old I entered Grade One. Last year, when I was 53 years old, I remembered that I had entered school willingly and happily because at the age of five I had three goals I wanted to accomplish. I wanted to learn to read, I wanted to learn to write and I wanted to learn how to count money.

I poured over Dick and Jane. I worked diligently to form my letters, to learn how to add and subtract. Gradually, over time, my enthusiasm for school waned. No longer did I skim downhill over the snow astride my metal blue and silver lunch bucket with the red handle. (An exploit that more often than not left the insulator in my thermos smashed into tiny shards.) Instead, with my goals faded from my mind's eye,

I absently scuffed the toes of my saddle shoes, and walked to school with my eyes downcast. I became a master at the fine art of dawdling my way to school. I began working on goals set for me by others. Not only that but I allowed others to determine when I had won and to define what I had achieved from A+ to F. Because they were not my goals, I was simply going through the motions. Because I had no connection to the goals set for me by others, I was detached from them and thereby detached from my life. I became dependent on the acknowledgment of others in order to validate and justify my very existence. In short, I trudged my way through drudgery and toiled to achieve mediocrity.

Forty-eight years it took for me to remember what my goals had been at five years old. My goals, mine, not the teachers', not my parents', but mine. Forty-eight years it took for me to acknowledge to myself that I had achieved those goals. Our dreams and goals are our most precious and valued possessions. When we abandon and give over ownership of our dreams and goals, we give up our lives. We lose ourselves. We don't play our own game.

When we fail to acknowledge our accomplishments, we fail to set new goals. We give our power away. We stop reaching. We become detached and we live a life of pretense.

Remember how it felt to squelch mud between your toes? Now, feel the back of your chair connecting with your back as you sit and read this. Feel the seat of your chair connecting with the backs of your legs. Feel your feet touching the floor. Notice the walls in the room, notice the people in the room. When you are driving your car, feel the steering wheel in your hands. When you are wiping down your kitchen counters feel the texture and the dampness of the cloth. Heighten your awareness. Experience your life. It is only when we are aware that we can effect change. We cannot change that which we are not aware of. Wake up, feel, experience fully and then set your course - create Your Life! Honor your dreams and goals and do not superimpose them on others. Instead, help others to find and achieve their own.

Or, you can join in the choir of voices droning “Make the world go away. Get it off my shoulders …”