It really depends on who's doing the criticizing.
Mom
In general, as moms go, my Mom criticizes probably just as much as any other mom (sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less). Her favourite points of criticism are my weight and the tidiness of my living space. I'd like to reiterate that my living space is not dirty, per se. It's just messy.
When it comes to the old standards, I've learned to just ignore it. There's no point getting upset about it because, for example, regardless of whether I weight 1000 lbs or 50 lbs (I'm 168 cm), she's going to call me fat.
Me: Geez... I must have lost weight. All day today, these dress pants have been falling down.
Mom: You should wear a belt then.
Me: These pants don't have ears for a belt.
Mom: Well, doesn't matter. You're still fat.
Me: Thanks.
5 minutes later
Me: Just as a test, when I went upstairs to change, I tried to take my pants off without unbuttoning or unzipping. It was a bit of a struggle but I got out of the pants. I think I've lost like 10 lbs in the last 6 months.
Mom: you're still fat.
Me: sigh
It's amazing I'm not bulimic.
Occasionally, she comes up with some new sort of thing to criticize. Like all traditional Chinese moms, she likes to criticize my choice of non-Chinese boyfriend. For the most part I just pretend like I can't hear her. But some days, a full-blown argument ensues. It's not pretty.
Other Family & Relatives
Usually, when other family members or relatives decide that they want to have a say in how I do things or how I make decisions, I look at their level of experience in that area and decide accordingly how much weight their criticism should have. For example, I have an uncle who has lived in China all his life and has had minimal interaction with Caucasian North Americans. I'm always amused by how he says he knows better how to deal with "Americans" than me, and that I don't really "understand" Americans, but he does. Sometimes he's been annoying enough that I've flat out asked him, "and how many Americans have you even met, let alone conversed with? I've only lived across the lake from them all my life, worked directly with them on internship, and taken long extensive holidays in America a zillion times." Knowledge base is important.
Friends
I never really know how to take criticism from my friends. It's not that I don't accept it... I think it's just that they so rarely give criticism that when they do I'm not quite sure what to do with it. I'd say for the most part though, I consider it with an open, objective mind. But there are some occasions where I scoff at them because they're being downright ridiculous (or I'm being narrow-minded). I try, however, not to be too bitchy about it on the off chance that they're right.
Strangers
I'd have to say this is probably my favourite. I love it when people who completely don't know you at all feel like it's their God-given right (or civic duty for the atheists) to say their bit to you. Unless it's clearly obvious that they're right or they're onto a good idea, I usually mouth off. Not because I'm a bitch... but because I gain entertainment from getting people all riled up. I can't do often with my friends and family because they'd get pissed off with me, but I don't care if strangers are pissed at me. And it's usually fairly minor so I'm not worried about this affecting my karma.
Coworkers
Occasionally I get criticized by well-informed, knowledgeable coworkers. They're outside of this because I welcome their criticism. I know it's hard to believe, but even I am not perfect.
However, it diverts me to no end when a numpty (and there are a lot of them where I work) comes along and tries to tell me how to do things "better." I'd write out a scenario here as an example, but with all the talk about employers finding their employees on cyberspace and firing them for inappropriateness, I think for once, I'll restrain myself.
Anyways... so that I don't do anything career-limiting, I usually give the criticizer the impression that I greatly appreciate the kindness of their input and their considerate behaviour for wanting to help me improve. Then, I usually create a PowerPoint presentation for our next department meeting in which I mock their advice. It's a subtle spite though because if it's blatant I know I'll get in trouble. The person being mocked doesn't usually realize I'm mocking them... nor do any of the other numpties. But... the sharper few in the group... the smarter ones who have actually earned my esteem.... they always get it... although my subtle spite usually needs a couple hours to sink in. Then we have a great laugh about it over lunch (without the numpties, of course).
Maybe I'm not as open to criticism as I'd like to be... but I think I'm open enough.
How do you deal with criticism?
