How I Healed my North American Neurosis.
neurosis |n(y)oŏˈrōsis|
noun ( pl. -ses |-ˌsēz|) Medicine
a relatively mild mental illness that is not caused by organic disease, involving symptoms of stress (depression, anxiety, obsessive behavior, hypochondria) but not a radical loss of touch with reality. Compare with psychosis .
• (in nontechnical use) excessive and irrational anxiety or obsession : apprehension over mounting debt has created a collective neurosis in the business world.
By many standards, I was a “success” . I owned and operated a lucrative yoga studio, drove a late model red German sports car, paid off my house, traveled where and when I wanted, my son had graduated college with honors from a well respected school, I had deposable income, and I was healthy, fit, well dressed and coifed. AND influenced by the powers that be and the emptiness that influence yields.
I WAS mildly stressed, depressed, slightly anxious, and a tad obsessive, (eBay comes to mind)
That was before I moved to the jungle of Honduras, where I have lived for almost 2 years without a car, phone, or internet (I had turned off the other American addiction, TV, in 1996). What did I do? I read, I wrote, I sang and danced, I drew, and I hiked and swam. I went to bed early, got up early and worked outside in the garden.
I practiced yoga everyday, but not so feverishly, I breathed in good, fresh, clean air, I ate fresh fruits and veggies straight off the vine and limb, drank pure fresh, clean mountain water from a local source, and I began to feel better. MUCH better.
Where I live, there are no big box stores that cater to my every wish and desire at my appointed time table, there are no restaurants close by to blow $18 on a salad and a glass of wine, I have no schedule that demands me to be at a certain place at a certain time, and I had absolutely nothing to prove by wearing designer shoes, bags, clothes or the latest in makeup colors and trends.
I saw/read zero advertising designed to plant the pea of desire under my mattress while expropriating the almighty dollar in my pocket.
Part hermit, part monk-ess, 100% adventurer, nature girl and stylin' first world drop out, I lived life proudly and pleasantly without the modern trappings we have all begun to consider normal and essential. (which I consider dangerous and deadening)
I became virtually FREE of all the trappings we know as “American Culture”, often the inane emphasis on productivity, politics, entertainment, convenience, youth/beauty/sex and the relentless promotion of vacuous consumerism. I began to feel better, MUCH better.
I am in love with the simple, the pure, the organic, the original. I marvel at the jungle rain, the clown colored flowers and fruits, the bizarre beauty of insects of all genres, the scents, the sights, the sensuality of Mother Nature, I am truly happy here, I have healed.
So, 2 years into this, I decided to get Internet. I wanted to reach out, connect, learn and communicate. I joined face book and now have 72 “friends” , I hopped on “green singles” and have met a super guy in Iowa and cherish our communication and sharing.
I'm a far better person now than before, more open, patient, creative, loving, kind…I like myself, I trust myself and I feel supremely blessed, albeit or because of it…car-less, cell phone-less, TV-less, stuff-less. Bottom line, living simple and feeling large!
