In recent news, polygamy, the practice of mutliple marriages, is starting to grow in numbers. Many polygamist compounds have been invaded by police, causing this happy union to crumble, because well, it's illegal to have more than one wife in America. Although it is practiced by many countries, us Americans like to stick to monogamy. (That means one person at a time, and sometimes a person on the side without our spouse knowing.) Closet polygamist or not, what's so enlightening about sharing your husband, and why isn't it the other way around? Are woman so easy to brainwash that we don't see the big picture? What does polygamy really have to offer a young woman as myself? I couldn't find the answer, so I provided reasons to persuade someone into not joining the “poly” train.
Top Five Reasons Not to be a Polygamist:
The clothes, the god awful clothes!
If you want to become a polygamist, you must dress like you are on the set of “Little House on the Prairie”. What's the deal with the old timey getup, and why can't they dress in today's time? Not only is the fashion outdated, they have to sport the old fashioned French braid to tie in the complete “farm girl” look. (Quick note: I would cry too if I had to wear those clothes.)
You have to have a minimum of 8 children
Not only do you get to share your husband, but you get to bear as many kids nature will allow you. Polygamists were once on the endangered species list, but now they have figured out how to beat extinction.
Utah is not such a great state. (No offense Utahns)
If you could go anywhere in the United States, where would it be? If you said Utah, you're a liar. (Even Pinocchio hates Utah, and he tells a lot of lies.) Avast majority of polygamists reside in Utah, because most of the state is uninhabited by “normal people”. Utah is the most religious state in the U.S, with 61% of its population taking part in the practices of The Latter-day Saints. (Mormons and Polygamists are not the same thing! Who knew?)
Brainwashing is another form of communication
One must give up all form of thought to become a polygamist woman. One must obey every order. There is only one man, but many women. There is only one man, but many woman. One must obey every order. (This doesn't have the same affect a tv and loud music would have. The kind of affect it did for that young boy in a “Clockwork Orange.”)
Your Husband gets to have all the fun
I don't know about you, but I don't want to be my husbands “sloppy seconds”. Whoever got these women to agree with this is in the first place is a genius. (Somewhere in Germany, Hitler is turning over in his grave.) What's the point of marriage if you can have as many partners as you like? I thought this was called dating, but I could be wrong.
Still want to become a member?
Lets face it, polygamy may have a low divorce rate, but it is still very illegal, and very much taboo in our society. Maybe in twenty years when people are finally getting over the “gay marriage” thing, polygamy will be okay. Until then, lets just stick to one person at a time people! (It's much easier to brainwash your husband that way.)
