Last night I realised that I’m definitely not cool. This doesn’t really bother me, as I’ve always suspected that I’m not, but the moment that it happened still nearly broke my heart.
I suppose this is always the way, when a small-town boy moves into the big city and has his eyes opened for the first time to how much there actually is in the world. The biggest fish in a little pond is insignificant compared to the biggest whale in the widest ocean, but until he sees the whale for himself, the fish will believe there is none bigger than himself! What impressed a small community with little variation will be seen as merely run-of-the-mill in a large multi-cultural city.
Anyone who puts themselves on a stage or pedestal of any sort runs the risk of destroying their ambitions and pre-conceived notions about themselves. The young guitarist cannot imagine what his instrument is capable of until he sees it played by an ageing professional. Our young friend may well imagine that he’s learned all there is to know about scales, chords and technique. Yet the instant he stands up to show the world how great he is, is the instant his dreams are shattered as he realises how much more there is to learn. Shattered, perhaps only for a short time, but shattered none the less.
Yet somewhere cool people must exist, and they can be content that they aspire to no-one. Somewhere in the ocean must be a creature larger than any other, that can glory in its size and fear no danger from other lesser, smaller creatures. Somewhere on our planet must be a guitarist who has completely mastered his instrument, who no longer has to struggle with technique and fingerings and can just enjoy the music he can so effortlessly create. These things must exist, mustn’t they, otherwise what are we all striving for?
Or maybe what it’s all about isn’t where we will end up. Maybe it’s not about reaching for a goal, and when we attain it then, only then, can we be happy. Maybe it’s about enjoying the journey – where we are right now. Can’t a beginner guitarist, with his knowledge of three chords, enjoy bashing out a song as much as an expert musician can enjoy subtle melodic harmonies? Since when do fish care about how big they are? The water they swim in is bigger and more powerful than they could ever be. No-one can define what it means to be cool, but I guess being cool is not caring about how cool you are; not worrying that you’re not the coolest. I know that I’m not cool, but I don’t really mind – I was never trying to be in the first place. Leave that to other people – I just want to enjoy where I am at the moment. Maybe that’s what could make me cool…
