Reflection: the act or state of being reflected, such as simple definition and seemingly simpler task. But how many of us actually take to heart this simple task. Reflection allows us to review our actions and determine if they were appropriate to the events leading to them.
The simple act of reflection allows us to learn and grow, but unless we take the time and expend the effort to record and examine our actions, we are stuck in a rut of reactive experiences, never to realize our fullest potential. There is the sage saying “Those who do not learn from the past are destined to repeat it”. So how do we get to the point of being actualized adults? For starters, write it down.
There is not a single more powerful tool in your personal arsenal of self-improvement than the act of writing something down. Writing in your own words not only records your actions but your thoughts. Also captured in your words are the nuances only you can decipher. Personal notes written by you and later read are like predigested nuggets of memories ready for immediate consumption, not requiring lengthy disclaimers or wordy dissertations in order to frame the thought correctly.
Unlike reading someone else's words, you will not need to understand their perspective because you are the perspective. It's kind of like a fast-food drive through, delivering all the convenience of quickly feeding your need, without the bulk of having to go shopping, prepare and cook the foods, and finally wash all the dishes.
Growing up, there was a time when I pen daily events in a journal. Yes, a daily “Dear Diary” entry was a big part of my day. At the time, I was actually using it to show the girls I was vying for what a sensitive person I capable of being. And for the most part it worked like a charm, especially when I gave the girls access to the parts where I would write about how important their interactions were to me (oh, how simple life was back then). By and large, this was one of the first realizations of the power of the written word, learning how to move people with words.
It was only after I “graduated” from this stage of life, I discovered the person I could move with my words was myself. Being able to review my past actions, written in my own words, permitted me to “see” what I was doing in past situations. I kept a journal of sorts ever since then, using it to make sure the resolutions and actions I want to keep at the fore front of my brain at the top of the heap of my daily actions. The act of reflection occurs in two parts: capturing the daily machinations of your day and reviewing the actions after some interval.
The first part of being reflective is simply writing it down on a regular basis. The entry does not have to be a weighty chunk of text (who has time for that?), but it must be made. On some days it is just a single line (crappy day at work because of project). Some days you simply will not have the brain power to put the events into words. Other days it will go into great detail, leaving nothing to the imagination. On those days, I find the act of putting everything on paper also lets me blow off steam, punching each of the keys hard when I start out, only to notice I am using less pressure towards the end of the entry. The most important thing to remember at this point is to write something down (anything).
The second and most important part of reflection is the act of reviewing the entries. It is best done while you are in a clam and restful state. If done in a state of agitation, you could come away with nothing more than increased agitation. I find it most beneficial first thing in the morning, over a cup of coffee, as I am most receptive during this time. Making sure there is nothing pressing, which would put undue pressure on the process.
There is no regular interval when to make these reviews, whether every week or every year, the act of looking into your actions of the past is your best guide to your actions in the future. I have noted the further I look back the more I understand how I became the person I am today. You will too. Happy writing.
