I've often wondered why it is that we of the feminine persuasion suffer so much more from the affliction of depression. Just why is it more women have nervous break downs, too many of us are insomniacs and women throng therapist offices?
While stress isn't exclusively reserved to the female of the species, it seems we have a lot to learn from our male counterparts when it comes to chilling out. They seldom seem to have mood swings, or the urge for double-choc choc-chip fudge ice-cream to cancel out the effects of a bad day at work, or the need to have all night conversations with a BFF to discuss the in and outs of their latest relationship crisis.
It often seems as if men are generally happier, and even those who have personal problems tend to have it much more together than we members of the *ahem* gentler, more sensitive sex. So what's their secret? We scope out the macho set for insights on how to achieve that elusive thing called happiness.
Guy lesson - Ignore the opinion of others
Women are often so worried about what others think of us that we create problems where there are none. Case in point: A Japanese sound system designed for use in public toilets was recently showcased in the local media. It featured the sound of running water that when played, covered up the shocking sound of women urinating. Men on the other hand, can pick their noses at a bus stop or discuss their drunken escapades on the phone at top volume with blithe indifference.
No, we're not telling you that scratching your crotch in public is a good thing but not placing so much emphasis on the opinions of others will reduce your stress levels a considerable bit. After all, your toughest critic is none other than your own self. Unless you're Gwen Stefani, no one really pays that much attention to how fat you are, how much your handbag costs or what car your boyfriend drives anyway. And if someone were that critical of you, would you really want them as your friend?
Guy lesson - Even grown-ups need to play
Women tend to grow up and get past the habit of having fun in life, whereas guys don't ever seem to outgrow the need to have a friendly go on the PlayStation 3 or get out for jungle trekking expeditions. Just look at where we spend our money; big boys go for their toys - sports cars, DVD collections and top of the line computers, whereas women seemingly enjoy self-esteem killing shopping trips (should I buy the size L that fits me properly or the S that I can wear only if I don't breathe?) and painful excursions to the beauty salon (bikini waxing - torture on the groin AND wallet!).
Like they say, all work and no play makes Jill a dull - not to mention stressed and neurotic! - girl. Whether you decide to have a fortnightly Girls' Night Out, sign up for pole dancing with your sisters, or participate in a national pie-eating competition, even if you only challenge your significant other to a video game showdown, make it a point to rediscover your fun, lighthearted side; go out and play!
Guy lesson - Don't be afraid to ask for what you want
My husband tells me that he wants to have goreng pisang for afternoon tea - will I drive 20 minutes away and pick some up for him? He says, I really don't like driving the kids to tuition, can you do it so I can get an afternoon nap? His requests are endless, specific and unapologetic. Why is it, then, that I don't do the same?
Not asking for what we want is a girl thing. We are the fair sex, the gentle, subtle yin. We imply, we infer, we suggest, rather than instruct. Whether it's the little things such as asking our husbands for a little more attention in the sack or asking the boss for a raise, the fear of rejection and creating conflict means keeping mum is the norm for us. Even if your motto is "que sera sera" and you're happy to just let things be, consider speaking up once in a while. The more you ask the more chances you will be refused, but if you don't ask at all, you'll never give others a chance to agree.
Guy lesson - Exercise is not a dirty word
We all know exercise is good for you, helps you to release stress, mood-enhancing endorphins and builds up your confidence. The trouble is, most women never get in the habit of getting regular exercise. With that masochistic mantra "No Pain, No Gain" we associate fitness with, is it any wonder so many of us choose to get our workouts from refrigerator door opening?
