Here I am a 30-something educated female, yet I still cannot answer this question intelligently. There are all the obvious reasons that as a Sociology major I abhor for procreating… I'm getting older, I want someone to take care of me in my old age, don't be selfish…
All of the above are exactly the reasons I reserve hesitation at the thought. It's the year 2007 and there is no longer a need to sow the fields, milk the cows or shed the sheep. You needn't have an arsenal of youngsters to do your will. Most households are dual income with both individuals working outside of the home. World overpopulation is no longer a threat, but an inevitable reality with the limited resources and desire we have to subdue it.
And the order arises again, "Don't be selfish!", Shout the baby makers of the world. How can lack of making “babies” be considered selfish? From my own life experience I can honestly say that the only reason I think my parents had me was for selfish reasons. I always felt that my older parents (mom 38 at my birth, dad at 45) wanted to live vicariously through me. Every achievement, every disappointment hit them harder than me. So what do I learn from this life experience? Have children so that you can chastise them for all the things they never did, never accomplished… all the things that you wanted to do. Interesting, that appears to be selfish motivation.
I am a reasonably intelligent person, have realistic ideals yet how do I know if I would be the proper person to bring up the next generation? Who among us has the audacity to say that he or she considers themselves great parenting material? I know what has worked for me, what is good for me. How can I honestly say that based on my knowledge, my value system, my life experiences….that I would make a proper parent? How can most people at the end of a broken condom say this?
That brings me to my next rant… an “accident” is not a joy, a choice, a miracle. It's called I "screwed up" and made a baby. Please let us not make this out to be something greater than it is. Birth control is easy to obtain and easy to use; there are no accidents any more. Anyone pregnant does not need to have the child. There are two common alternatives out there, adoption and abortion. I do not think that anyone is a “better person” for having an unwanted child. I think that is a ridiculous option. A wiser choice is to admit you are not ready to handle the situation and admit defeat. If the child was not a choice to begin with, then it wasn't meant to be. Birthing for the sake of birthing is not beneficial for the parents, the potential child or society as a whole.
I don't even need to go into the statistics of crime, drug addiction, mental disease, etc. to make my point. Let's take a realistic look at procreating. What is the purpose? To continue the human race? There are thousands, possibly millions of unwanted children in the world. Oh, I want MY genes to continue. So what the hell is so special about your genes? Is parenting nature or nurture? If we argue it's nature, pop out the kid and call it a day. Don't worry about caring for the girl or boy, giving structure to his or her environment…..you already did all you need to do by popping out the kid, take a rest and congratulate yourself for having the ability to make babies. You're spectacular!
If we say it's nurture, there are plenty of unwanted kids are out there waiting for a parent. So what are you waiting for??? The only feasible reason I can articulate for anyone to have children is one; the thought that you are capable of raising a child that will have a meaningful influence on society as a whole. It's not about having a baby to make you feel better. When you die and your kid is likely still alive… then what? The hope is that you raise your child (ren) properly so that they can be educated, live a decent life and contribute positively to society as a whole. If you can't get your head out of your ass and your priorities straight, you're not a proper candidate for parenting. Sorry, simply spreading your legs does not make you a candidate.
Looking at your life, reviewing your accomplishments and disappointments, gaining insight and knowledge from each of them, learning patience; these are some of the criteria for parenting. Making babies because most every female has the ability is not a good reason. If you can't reasonably say that you cannot make prodigy who will not be drains on society (i.e. perpetual welfare recipients)... Don't! And don't proclaim that you're a wonderful and more caring person because you can fuck and make babies. Thanks to all the screwed up parents who have raised screwed up children who now clog our jails, mental and drug facilities. Thank you!!! You have made a worse today and future tomorrow as a result of your ignorance.
Having children should not be about having someone by your side so you're not lonely. Lonely? Get a pet. Having children should not be about having someone there to care for you in your old age. That's what nursing homes/assisted living are for. Having children should not be about creating another generation to carry on your “wishes.” That's what your life was for. Please keep the condoms and the Plan B handy if any of the above applies. Oh and thank you for not procreating.
