Why Men Won't Commit

Thanks, CA, for the compliment, and for the link! This makes it so much easier for me to view my fellow writers' work. Best regards!

I enjoyed this one very much. The fact that men don't usually mature until they are in their 40's one that I worried about with my first husband.

Well written, well thought out article.

Best wishes Beatrice!

Sincerely,

-Liane Schmidt.

Hmm...I seem to be the only man here...good article, Beatrice!
Don't forget that a lot of guys are just plain jerks, too.
What a lot of men look for is a woman that says no to his advances. I know I did. My wife told me no until I put a ring on her finger...I married her several months later!! We've been inseperable these 20 years. I love her more everyday.

my partner of 5 years went through a bad marriage/divorce before he met me, and although he is a fundamentaly good guy he wont marry me, his 8 year old disabled daughter lives with us and iam the one who does most of the caring for her, he goes out to work i stay at home, when i mention marriage he clams up and wont talk about it, saying he needs more time, im at my wits end and on the verge of leaving him ive stuck by him through difficult times, but he just wont talk about getting married again he says just give it a bit longer, i will be 40 this year and have been faithful and loyal to him, as his first wife took him for every penny im sure he thinks i will do the same and he has no reason to think that as iam financialy independant ifeel like a mug !!!!

This is a good article but it only talks about young men. What about older men?
I'm 51 years old. I've been dating (for 7 months)a 48 year old man who has been divorced for about a year. He recently got transferred to Colorado and wants me to quit my job of 20 years, sell my home and move there with him. We have talked about marrage before. He says he is not ready. I love this man more than anyone I've ever loved before.
Should I go? Tell me what you think.

a better article that covers commitment and how to get your man to commit can be found here : http://news.yahoo.com/s/prweb/20080603/bs_prweb/prweb993564

Men don't want to get married because of the risk factor.If it ends in divorce it will ruin him financially.Also,why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.I am single and have no ambition to share anything with a femi-nazi!

I got this great advice from an older divorced man.He told me...\"Anything that bleeds for 7 days and does not die cannot be trusted\"

I think that if you know he really loves you, and you know that he really loves you and you know that he knows that you know he loves you, then you should know he wants marry you FOR REAL one day.But as women, it is our job too support him, as long as you both know that one day you plan to say I do. I look at it this way, If it takes long to get to the alter (to marriage), its well worth it, because then there will be no regrets when you get there. Better to wait to make life long decisions, then rush into it and then regret it and if your gonna spend the rest of your lives together, why rush marriage. The problem is, however, when problems appear in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, most men tray at the first symptom of a problem, in that case maybe you shouldn't be together.....at the end, communication and compromise is the key!...if your REALLY in True LOVE.

This is to Thomas. If you say that anything that bleeds for 7 days cannot be trusted, I bet your Mom is included. Do you trust your Mom? If yes then, you must be a fraid of committment in marriage as do many men.

It really depends on the man. Some men do, some men don't.

Don't marry him because of your attraction for him; marry him because he would love you and protect u and care for u until the end. Good guys like this usually want marriage.

Marriage creates vulnerability for everyone. Strong, good guys are willing to be courageous and take the risk. It is usually weak, no-good, spoilt guys who do not - they aren't worth marrying.

Unfortuanately I turned my "perfect guy" down for marriage because I was too young, but I decided that even if another one doesn't come along, I will be ok. The main thing for me is leading a great and happy life and being the woman that I want to be, and just hope one day somebody as special as him will come along.

Unfortunately, men today have not learned their lesson. Some have, and some are, but most still have not. I\'m one of those knuckle heads that made the mistake of re-marrying. I\'m eternally trapped because the first divorce is still costing me $$$ in child support, and this one would clean me up all together. Men need to take a fair warning about child support because it\'s getting too damn expensive! Parents are supposed to share the cost, but men are enduring most of it. Why a man should have to pay $800.00 dollars a month for one child is beyond me. Yet we know the child doesn\'t cost that much. If the 50% percent rule is in effect, is the government trying to say that it costs both parents combined, $1,600.00 dollars a month to raise a single child? Get real! That\'s what men are afraid of, especially those who might have to sacrifice 50% percent of their pensions to a woman who was \"just there\" and very un-supportive.

Stay single guys....it\'s far cheaper for you, and your sanity.

Sorry ladies, but many of you (not all of you) are just too expensive, and divorce isn\'t costing you near as much...not even close.

I still love ya though. ;o)

Men look at marriage and parenting all wrong. It does cost a lot of money to care for a child, especially an infant or preschooler. They require daycare if the mother, who is generally the custodial parent, has a job, goes to school or both. I myself work two jobs and go to school and I take care of my two on my own because their father believes that if the marriage has ended, so has his responsibility to the children. And what about the women who give up their careers to clean your houses, wash your clothes, cook your meals and raise your children? My husband hounded me for years to quit my job and stay home with the children; after my son was born,I took a leav of absence. Two weeks later, my husband walked out on me, leaving us with nothing. He would even come over to see the children and wave money in my face and yell at the children for being hungry. He even tried to have the childre taken frm me because I had no job. But during the divorce proceedings, the judge--a man--broke it down for my husband. My job was the home and the family; by insisting I quit my job and stay home, he was agreeing to accept the role of breadwinner. That is not unusual. Men only see the money part of it and they never stop to think about everything a wife and mother does. To provide for my two children, it costs me nearly $3000 a month and that includes everything they need, from a place to live, food, health insurance, clothes, transportation, childcare because I work so much, and the little extras. And no, you can\'t get away with providing the bare minimum; children want to be happy too. Yes, I would need a place to live if I didn\'t have the children, but I wouldn\'t need a three-bedroom house. Yes,I would need to eat, but I wouldn\'t need to spend $600 a month if it were just me. Yes, I would need transporation, but I wouldn\'t need as much gas if it were just me. I wouldn\'t need daycare or the extra pay for health coverage; mine is free just for me. hat is so wrong with a father supporting his children? Do men realize that when a couple divorces, the woman\'s standard of living goes down 65% while the man\'s goes up 35%? Men are fancy-free and disengaged from the day-to-day care of children; they can send a check and pick the children up for the weekend and still be considered good fathers. I\'m willing to bet most men have never spent so much as a day caring for a house, a spouse and children, maybe even an elderly parent to boot. As for the child support, there are many women out there--myself included--who are entitled to receive it, but never see a dime. My mother was one and I am another. My children go hungry and do without because of men like him who don\'t think the children deserve to eat or wear decent clothes. Alimony is a means of support; if a woman has her own income, all she gets is child support for the children. But if a wife gives up her career, puts it on hld to raise the children and ends up divorced, then what recourse does she have when the husband has all the money? Men have no idea how much a child costs because they don\'t factor in every expense. Every expense counts, even if men don\'t think so. You don\'t believe it? Ask the 3 million single mothers out there who do it all with no help from the fathers if those expenses don\'t count. You don\'t want to pay alimony? Then don\'t expect her to stay home with the children; she goes back to work. If a woman gives up her life to take care of her husband and children, keep in mind that the man wouldn\'t have that pension if it wasn\'t for the wife keeping everything under control. Remember, there are some women who pay alimony and child support too; it\'s not just men. Mothers are generally the primary caregiver and it has been so since the dawn of time. If a man is not going to be there %100 of the time, why shouldn\'t he provide in other ways, like money? My exhusband has never so much as packed a lunch, built a project, helped with homework, or even ever dropped them off at school. Keep that in mind when you think men are being screwed; trust me, it\'s the children and the women who really suffer and make the sacrifice. Think about it.

Marriage is horrifying! I would never do it again. Twice now I have been totally committed, given it my all, bought a nice house, taken care of kids, always come home on time right after work, taken great family vacations, offered my wife the option of staying home and not working (she refused), been completely dedicated to my home and family, and been completely screwed.

Jerks come out ahead, nice guys finish last.

I would never get married again, EVER!

All you men who talk about expensive divorces and child support being the reason behind your failure to commit to marriage seem to be from countries where divorces end up in favour of women but what about the men my side of the world where a divorce usually means a woman thrown out of house, with or without children, without a penny most of the time. Divorce in my part of the world is mostly in favour of the guy. What excuse do these guys have for failing to marry the women they promise undying love for?
I would like to observe here that it is a fairly new phenomenon since in the past men just HAD to marry if they wanted a decent woman in their house to share their life and bed.
So, it can be safely opined that men nowadays do not NEED to marry because they are getting everything they would have wanted from a marriage, even without marrying.
So its not the guys' fault really, all the blame rests with us, the women who are weak and pathetic enough to lay our bodies, and hearts under them , thus upsetting the whole social and moral structure of this relationship, just throwing it upside down. Think women, why would they want to take your responsibility when they already have you???? There are just no more knights in shining armours/ on white horses to sweep you off your feet!!!!!

Is it possible that a man will never marry if he watched his parents and his siblings went through so many divorces?

Men in my opinion seem to be waiting for the bbd...bigger better deal...someone better just might come along....i see this a lot and im sooooo glad i havn`t married my partner of 20 years....i wanted to for many of those years ...he couldn`t possibly commit...well the children have grown up now and are getting their own lives....and guess what so is their mother....so good riddence.....

To Joeseph,
You are an idiot. It absolutely does cost that much to raise a child. Do you realize how much housing, electricity, gas, tutoring, school books, school uniforms, school-private or public, school supplies, clubs, the disney channel, the internet, Hannah Montana clothes, sports gear, gymnastics, piano, Brownies (the girl scout kind), clothes, shoes, food, toys, field trips, music, cell phones, ipods, wii's, playstations, dvd's, bicycles just to name a few actually cost? Be a father and not a sperm donor.