Deep within the shadowy depths of an abandoned warehouse, the crazed super villain, Silvertoe, points his deadly laser beam in between the legs of the world-renowned super spy, Johnny Constitution.
"Do you expect me to talk?" scoffs Constitution.
Silvertoe points the laser beam upwards into Johnny's crotch and says, "No, Mr. Constitution. I expect you to die!"
Talking may be the subsequent action of torture, but honesty is only practiced as a subsequent action of itself. If given a "ticking time bomb" scenario, such as a terrorist holding "time-sensitive" information (i.e. 24, James Bond 007, Star Wars: A New Hope, Die Hard, Mission: Impossible, Saw), one might conclude that torture would be permissible under such circumstances. However, there has never been an incident where that fictional justification for torture has held any weight. Therefore, torture is useless, was useless, and always will be…useless.
Talk is cheap and pain is influential, so in economic terms, torture has more than paid its dues. Where it goes wrong is at the Crossroads of Truth. Any nerve-endowed human would incriminate themselves to escape pain, so just how effective is torture in truth-gathering? That's right: It isn't effective at all! If anything, torture is defective. Intelligence agencies will find themselves at a bit of a standstill when all of their information is skewed by pain-induced lies. Where's the rebel base now, Vader? Since when have terrorist hideouts been revealed due to talkative "squealers"? Any "terror organization" worth its news network (i.e. Fox News, Al-Jazeera) knows better than to stay put when one of their members is arrested. Let's face it, Osama is much smarter than what he's given credit for.
"We should totally flog them terrorists for what they did to them reporters in those-there videos! And then there's our troops, god bless'em, they tortured them, too! Let's get'em back and stay the course! Yee-haw! Bring it on!" First off: Shut up. If there's one thing that ticks me off more than redneck rhetoric, it's ignorance of propaganda. News networks blatantly use "beheading videos" to benefit their sponsoring political parties. The videos create fear and sucker in more submissive viewers, so that more and more people will be exposed to their ideology; and that's exactly why these videos are produced by terrorists in the first place; because they know that they'll be aired in front of millions of morons like yourself. Without the amplification that the media provides, terrorists would lack all motives to behead anyone. No fear. No purpose. The media depends on people like you, idiot! So keep watching. Now, as for the policy of revenge…why bother? If there's one horse than can't be beaten enough, it's Revenge Breeds Terrorism. You can guess whoI'll be betting on this afternoon. Damn straight! Old Revvy.
Since moral bankruptcy has never been an issue in government, let's lean towards bribery instead of torture, shall we? Surely, the Department of Defense schools will benefit from the new budget cuts provided by laid-off interrogators.
