How to Deal with Difficult People

There is not one person that is not in the presence of what I call difficult people on a daily basis. Whether it is at your place of employment, a family member, or a total stranger. 

Have you ever been in the best mood ever, having a great day when one of these people enter and within ten minutes your blood begins to boil and your great mood takes a serious nose dive? Sometimes, these people do not even have to speak a word and they have the same effect on you. If you let this feeling linger and build, (the more you think about it, the worse it gets) it seems to ruin your whole day.

I call this type of situation “Energy Zapping”. Our Ego wants to always be right, always in control, to be the best, and not let anyone be “better” than you. It wants to stand out so everyone can see how much smarter, kinder, stronger, and special they are. I believe it is a defense mechanism and people do not realize that they are really doing all these things. Maybe it thinks it is a security safeguard against the enemy. Either way, it does not work for their benefit or for anyone that comes in contact with them.

First and foremost to avoid this energy zapping you must consciously realize that it is their ego talking and do not take anything the ego says personally. When people talk from their heart you will not feel like you have to go on defense mode. That is how you can tell the difference. If the ego does not get what it wants (your blood to boil, an argument, or maybe even hate mail) then it stops in its tracks and will move on to the next victim to receive its' energy. It can be persistent sometimes and you must not give in. Walk away or turn your back towards them. Secondly, you need to focus on a pleasant or funny thought. If you find it hard to do this at the time, try closing your eyes and just smiling. This actually works wonders to lift your mood to where you were before this difficult person arrived. If the two of you really do need to talk about whatever problem preceded their behavior, then schedule a meeting with them after they calm down. Lastly, and the hardest of all---Do not fight back. Do not argue or try to get your point across.(This would be your ego coming in to play the game). When you stay calm and remain in your good mood, the hostile situation will dissolve and better energy will replace it. You need to rise above the bad situation and then it will change.

You are not going to be able to change these difficult people so don't even try. You can however change how you react, therefore sparing yourself from having a “bad day”. Doing this will also save you from stress which we know can cause many symptoms and illnesses.

Staying positive and having good energy around you is very healing. It is an extremely healthy way to live. Difficult people may always be difficult, but you must not let others effect you.