I have always wanted to write a book, I have tried many times but been put off because of
My terrible spelling and bad grammar. And the usual lack for words.
I am trying to write this book as though as if I am talking to you, as I have never written a book before or even a diary for that matter. I really am jumping in at the deep end for allowing myself to go ahead with this. I should have joined a writers club or something of that nature, or at least taken some time out to research what I am writing about.
The thing is, I have it all in my head now what I want to say, as this book is more of an experience rather than fiction. So I could say I have already done my research, well at least I did do something right then.
What I want to write about is very controversial and even unbelievable but this did happen to me and as happened to many people, this book is more about the experience we have when we meet and fall in love with the opposite sex or the same sex if it works for you, and the effects it as afterwards when the relationships break up. Actually it’s a lot deeper than that and takes a different road all together with what I have to say about the matter.
I fell in love when I was seventeen to a fifteen year old girl who was very pretty and very charming, her name was Kathryn, and yes she was still at school, her last year actually, well six months to go before she left in July. That’s when the kids have their six weeks school break for the summer season. And go back in September. Her sixteenth birthday fell in April and I met her in October just after my seventeenth birthday, so nothing in it really when it comes to age gap, ok, for those concerned about any other matters that might disturb their mind while reading this. I promise you, you will recover from any sordid thoughts that might have entered your head again while reading this.
Only joking with you while I think about something else I want to say about love and emotions we give away while in a relationship.
I really loved my girlfriend, she was my life and I would have done anything to keep us from breaking up, but she wanted to be with another man and that was the end of that.
I did try everything actually to stop her from going with him, I begged and pleaded with my life, but that did not do anything. I was gutted, and felt like dyeing, I remember now, crying my heart out to her the day she left me. Yes it was very sad indeed and that day will never leave me. I always say there is no greater pain or sorrow than that of losing a loved one. It’s just a case of getting over it and bounce back on with living again. If you can that is?
The after effects are what puzzle me, when I think about what I went through, the first thing I noticed was my feelings had died, and I had no emotions for anything or any one for that matter. I was told at the time by my doctor that emotions do go away for a while
And they come back in time, it’s the way the brain deals with these things, he told me I just had to sit it out for bit till things come back. All well and good for him to say that, how long did I have to wait because this was killing me, literally. I never had an experience like that before I met Kath. And I really hoped I would never have another one. You know to deal with heartache is a lonely matter it also tortures ones mind as well. The things that I was thinking back then about why she left me, I did blame my self for a long time and though she left me, I could not find it in my heart to hate her. I just wanted my Kathy back. But she really did not belong to me.
Why do we men give up our hearts so easily? I mean we worship woman, we love them and protect them and give our lives for them. A man will love a woman go to the ends of the Earth to keep one, just to be shattered and have their heart and soul ripped clean out for the sake of it. I wonder what kind of madness this is because we go right back and do it again. Fall in love I mean.
