26. Walt Disney. Created some of the finest children's characters and adapted some great stories. His legacy has been marred by Eisner.
27. Eli Whitney. Cotton gin inventor.
28. Dwight Eisenhower. Ended the Korean War, top general of Truman, began the insterstates. Interesting farewell address. Why did he continue the New Deal?
29. Earl Warren. Thanks for Miranda! Thanks for fumbling the Kennedy assassination! Still, some positive steps for civil rights.
30. Elizabeth Stanton. Concerned for women's rights. Not concerned for baby's rights.
31. Henry Clay. As complex of a character as Andrew Jackson - but the opposite. In the vein of Hamilton, but more of a compromiser.
32. Albert Einstein. A lot of theories. A lot of hot air. Humanist. Pacifist. Like his "science" - everything works on paper.
33. Ralph Waldo Emerson. Gave us Transcendentalism. "I hate the West!" Still haven't figured out why in all his journeys overseas he didn't stay over there.
34. Jonas Salk. Cured polio.
35. Jackie Robinson. Baseball player. Ok, so why is he at 35? Because he's black? Still, I don't see Babe Ruth or Cassius Clay (Ali) here!
36. William Jennings Bryan. Thanks for the Scopes Trial, but what a goob.
37. JP Morgan. Really rich guy. Not much of a philanthropist.
38. Susan B Anthony. The first atheist feminist that got noticed. Great.
39. Rachel Carson. The first environmentalist that got noticed. Yay.
40. John Dewey. Atheist. Communist. Humanist. Strike three.
41. Harriet Beecher Stowe. A graceful writer with a heart of gold and the most influential private figure in the war on slavery.
42. Eleanor Roosevelt. The longest-running first lady. I mean, really, besides her charity work that all first ladies are known for, what did she do?
43. W E B DuBois. Socialist. Communist. Moved to Ghana at 95. Should've moved to Red China and tried to write his crap there.
44. Lyndon Johnson. A crappy, crappy President. Couldn't even run for re-election because he sucked so bad.
45. Samuel F B Morse. Inventor and painter.
46. William Lloyd Garrison. Unlike Stowe, Garrison was not a graceful writer and went so far as to say that the US Constitution was pro-slavery. Huh? You mean that document that gave men rights that no man had ever had since the beginning of the world? Moron.
47. Fredrick Douglass. Definitely need to swap him with Garrison. Douglass believed in the Constitution.
48. Robert Oppenheimer. Communist. Made a huge atomic bomb. Question, Robert: if you believe in a communist utopia, what are you doing building a bomb to blow it away? Common sense for liberals.
49. Robert Law Olmstead. Park architect. At number 49. Weee. Don't think I can contain my excitement for the next 51.
50. James K. Polk. Ninth President. Achiever. Won the Mexican-American War. Greatly expanded the United States. Somehow "Park-boy" Olmstead is so much more influential.
