Today in a press conference with all major US media outlets, the reverends Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson announced that they will be filing a historic lawsuit in the hopes of furthering the cause of the civil rights movement. “My brothers and sisters, for too long have we been vilified, discrimified, humilified, and disgustified by the purveyors of hate speech under the auspices of education.” Jackson said to a rapt audience. “Noah Webster was a racist, bigoted, white interloper.” shouted Sharpton through his trademark megaphone.
The lawsuit, expected to be filed today, names Webster's dictionary, and Encyclopedia Britannica, as well as the publishers of countless other reference works as defendants. The legal filing claims emotional distress and illegal discrimination on behalf of all minorities going back to each work's initial date of release. Among the introductory pieces of evidence brought forth in the claim are the words: Black, White, Yellow, Brown, Red, Ignorant, Niggardly, Illegal, and Lazy. “We expect to be vindicated, emancipated, and promulgated, when we have our day in court.” Jackson was heard saying.
This is a bold move for Jackson and Sharpton considering thee election for “Leaders of the Black Community”, just around the corner. This story is entirely untrue and is written as satire. If this article has gotten you bent out of shape, then it was written just for you.
