We all live our lives fighting and running from the inevitable destiny in which we are all bound: death. But while we are here it is nice to live in a house and involve ourselves in the foolish vices of pleasure and joy.
But there comes a time in a life in which one searches and looses their footing. When one realizes that he has been denying the inevitable his whole life without even knowing it. In our culture we often call it the midlife crisis.
When one has a mid life crises they search for something permanent often in the worst of possible places. It is the time when one finally begins to try to put their life in perspective. To put their life in the grand picture, and it hurts them. It hurts them to realize that they are not much more but a grain of sand in the mud. That no matter how hard they have worked and how much they have accomplished that their ultimate destiny is no different than the destiny of their crazy uncle Jack who committed suicide ten years ago.
One suggestion may be to start cozying up to the notion. Get creative. Think of some way that is quite interesting and a worthwhile way to die. I myself have always hoped to one day be lucky enough to push a child out of the way from a bus or take a bullet for someone but those are rare happenings.
True Christians may find themselves with an advantage at this stage of life. Their book of rules has taught them not to expect in this lifetime but to wait and because of it they will have the greatest end. The lies that they filled themselves with were in many ways more truthful. Their understanding of human condition is philosophically sound compared to the man who believes in progress and other such non-sense.
Buying the sports car or something of that nature is something that I suggest you try your hardest to fight. Eventually, considering you plan on retiring, you will have to remove yourself from further illusions that a sports car brings.
You need something solid something that wasn't received easily. Love is the best thing. Men who find themselves alone at this stage in their life will be hopeless. Many men with money will use younger women at this point for the sole purpose of getting back that feeling.
Ultimately the only thing that can provide consolation is the imprint that one is leaving. It can be on anyone or in any activity, but the purity and sincerity of the imprint is the only thing that is important. Quantity is irrelevant. A man may be the most famous man in the world but if his fame lacks profound human connection than the man who only has that one connection with a single person is in better shape.
The tables have turned for the famous man as he lived the beginning of his life in better shape but pays for it in the end. If one does not pay in pain and dedication for anything in his whole life, if everything is given and comes easy than they have nothing in the end. Nothing has been done or accomplished. Some wisdom pushes me to believe that accomplishment was merely the feeling of pain associated with made up cause. The cause is in the long run of things in the big picture is irrelevant.
Hope some of these ideas may help you get into the right mindset as we all prepare for the unknown. Dying may be the best thing that happens to us. We know nothing so like fish in the sea we must keep swimming.
